


Dawn

by dearjayycee



Series: Ouroboros [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angsty Severus Snape, Fluff, Gen, Good Severus Snape, Pre-Drarry, Pre-Hogwarts, Severitus, Severus Snape Adopts Harry Potter, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Young Harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2018-08-17 05:58:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8132933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearjayycee/pseuds/dearjayycee
Summary: On the eve of Voldemort's fall everything changes. And for Severus Snape it all changes again the next day.





	1. A Heart Long Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first in a Harry Potter AU where Snape raises Harry Potter. There are a lot of universe changes but this is mostly fluff that happens before Harry starts as a student and angsty Severus Snape learning to deal with raising a child. 
> 
> This whole first story in the series is finished so I will be posting one chapter a week.
> 
> Also, this series will be Draco/Harry.

       The clinking of small metal objects ceased as Severus Snape glided through the doors of the Headmaster’s office, cloak whipping behind him like the physical embodiment of all his worries. Only moments ago Snape had been at Spinner’s End, brewing a potion he would now never finish, when suddenly a headache he hadn’t realized he had abruptly dissipated, giving him a sense of relief he hadn’t known since his early school days. In a frenzy he ripped the left sleeve off of his cloak to stare down at his forearm. All that stared back at him was the now lifeless-looking mark against his pale skin. It looked almost like a tattoo that one got in their youth and now regretted. It was no longer red, and raised, and angry, as it had been since the moment it had first tainted his life. Suddenly he no longer knew his own arm, and it was wonderful.

 

       The Dark Lord had fallen.

 

       All he could think of at first was that it was finally over. That there would be no more hiding or sneaking around; well, no more than the average Slytherin did. After those first few moments of unabashed joy, worrying questions started to assault his mind. _How had it happened? Had Dumbledore, after all this time, not included Snape in his plans? Was this all just a test? And if yes, from whom, Dumbledore or Voldemort?_

 

       These concerns hadn’t stopped plaguing his mind. Even now as he stood in front of Dumbledore’s cluttered desk, hours after the mark had paled, Fawkes’ singing so loudly that Severus almost couldn’t hear himself think. His worries still nagged at him. Dumbledore rose a steady hand causing the phoenix to cease his song after a few last chirps, only to happily start preening at its breast feathers instead.

 

       Snape concentrated on the man in front of him, but surprisingly all he saw was grief. Whatever emotion he had expected to see on the old man’s face right after the fall of the Dark Lord it had not been this one, and it worried Severus all the more. Dumbledore had fought so long for this day to finally come and Severus had expected nothing other than triumph and joy. But he had never expected an exhausted frown with unshed tears twinkling in the Headmaster’s eyes. For once the man looked his age, all two hundred and thirty nine years were etched into his face.

 

       “What happened?”

 

       Severus was sure all his questions would be answered in due time, at least the ones Dumbledore was willing to trust him with. Snape had already waited for hours for the Headmaster to arrive, pacing in front of the giant oak doors. He could wait a bit more.

 

       Dumbledore stood, his back popping a few times as he reached full height. He glided over to one of the windows behind his desk, looking out at the moon which was reflected in the eerily still surface of the Black Lake.

 

       “Voldemort is gone…”

 

       Snape held his breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop as he knew it must.

 

       “For now…” Dumbledore glanced over his shoulder, eyes piercing. “I cannot say when he will return, but I am sure he will. And until he is truly gone we are not safe.”

 

       Severus kept his mouth shut in a tight line that would impress even Minerva, trying desperately to understand how it had happened. How the greatest Dark Lord since Grindelwald had been defeated? The answer to this question, however, was not what he received.

 

       “Lily and James are dead.”

 

       Snape felt his knees go weak, but he quickly caught himself, hand clutching the back of the chair in front of him so tightly his knuckles had gone white. His emotions which had already been raging, after losing the Dark Lord’s presence within him, were suddenly thrown into complete turmoil. He couldn’t, however, let this weakness show any more than it already had.

 

       Dumbledore didn’t come to his side, only looked back out at the lake. They both knew the last thing Severus wanted or needed was his pity. Snape held back the tears that threatened to fall; now was not the time for grieving, there were more important things to be done. In that moment his long-held hatred for Potter seemed to disappear, set aside with all the other childish feelings he felt for that man.

 

       When he finally pulled himself together, clarity came back to him. The question that he knew would hurt to hear the answer to but which needed to be asked was already coming out of his mouth.

 

       “And the boy?”

 

       His voice felt raw but it didn’t matter, there were more important things to concern himself with at the moment. Severus had never met Harry, could never bring himself to put aside his jealousy to see the child of the woman whom he loved and who had been his best friend. Dumbledore would often mention the boy after his visits knowing that while Severus would never go himself, sure that Lily and James wouldn’t want him there, that he did yearn to see the baby. To see what he could have had. It was too late for that now. It was too late to meet the boy and for apologies he would never be sure that either side would have meant.

 

       Dumbledore slid back into his chair, motioning for him to do the same. Quietly they sat in their respective seats, shoulders slumped. It was followed by a silence that was only broken when the Headmaster finally looked him in the eye.

 

       “Fortunately, he is alive and well. He has been taken to his last remaining family.”

 

       Severus’ head shot up. “You can’t possibly mean Petunia?” _No, surely Dumbledore would never._

 

       Dumbledore’s face pinched up in confusion. “Why yes, I do…”

 

       Snape knew then that Dumbledore was a complete fool. Petunia loathed magic and would never allow it within her house. She would never nurture the spark within a young wizard, she would stamp on it just as she had tried to do to her own sister. And Dumbledore had trusted the Savior of the Wizarding World to her. The old man had finally lost his Gobstones. Severus tried to tell him this, tried his best to convince Dumbledore that this was a bad idea but the man just sighed and gave Snape a look that said, _I am older and wiser._

 

       When Severus finally gave up on it, it was only after asking why the boy couldn’t be with his godfather to which Dumbledore gave him an odd look before revealing that Black was currently missing and that the boy needed to be with his _real_ family.

 

       Snape knew Petunia would never treat the boy like family. And he honestly couldn’t imagine Lily or Potter ever wanting this for their son but apparently they had, why else would Dumbledore ever have given Harry to that horrible woman?

 

       Finally, Severus left, making his way back to Spinner’s End, where the potion he had been brewing had melted the cauldron but luckily hadn’t dissolved the table. Snape sighed over the lost notes and the wasted supplies, quickly cleaned up the mess, and headed to bed. It had been a long day and he was hoping to wake up tomorrow and realize that everything was back to normal.

 

       Unfortunately, that was not what happened.

 

* * *

 

       The next day found Snape back at Hogwarts, Dumbledore calling for him at midday for unknown reasons. When Severus arrived at the school, wondering what he could want this soon after Voldemort had fallen; had he already re-emerged? But the mark on his arm was still lifeless and proved otherwise.

 

       Severus made his way through the castle, dodging all students that might think to hex him on the spot. Everyone was still on edge, not truly believing what had happened. When he got to the Headmaster’s office the man was still not his chipper self. Fawkes was sitting on his perch pulling out his feathers with Dumbledore reaching out to try and get the phoenix to stop.

 

       “I am sorry to say you were right about Petunia…” Dumbledore sighed, resting his hand over his eyes.

 

       Snape felt giddy about the fact he had proven the man wrong, right up until he understood what that meant. “What happened?”

 

       Dumbledore’s eyes darted away in a fashion that said he wished he did not have to talk about this failure. “She took him to an orphanage.”

 

       Snape’s jaw almost fell. He had known Petunia was capable of many things, but he never imagined she would do this. That she would give her nephew away, the only part that was left of her sister. He couldn’t believe it. All that hatred he had felt for Muggles came rushing back.

 

       “Where is the boy?” He couldn’t help that it came out as a growl to swept away with his hatred.

 

       “With Hagrid. They are on their way back to Hogwarts. Severus, we must talk about what this means.” Dumbledore sighed again. This made Snape frown, he couldn’t imagine what the man could possibly have to say.

 

       “Severus, my dear boy, I know how hard this is for you, I know what Lily…” Severus shot him a glare that made the older man stop short momentarily. He wasn’t ready to discuss it yet and he probably never would be. Regardless, Dumbledore continued, “Well… Lily, James and I had discussed this as a precaution. I would not speak of this if it wasn’t absolutely necessary now for Harry’s sake.” Snape gave a little nod to show his understanding and Dumbledore continued on.

 

       “We talked about many different scenarios, and unfortunately the one we thought least likely to happen, happened. I am deeply sorry to ask this of you, but would you be willing to raise Harry?” They both knew that this wasn’t a question but a task and that he had no real choice in this matter.

 

       All of Snape’s thoughts came to a screeching halt. He had never even considered raising a child, not since he had joined the Death Eaters. That he might be responsible for another human being and for Lily’s son at that. It was an unimaginable situation. Severus knew that they would have only asked for this if it was the very last solution. Knew that James _Potter_ would never want him raising his child. He knew now that no matter what he brought up to try and get himself out of this, it would be shot down. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t try.

 

       “But Professor, what about his godfather? Is he still missing?” Severus’ hands were fisted into his cloak, knuckles white. He didn’t even insult Black; that’s how shaken up he was by the change in events.

 

       Albus shook his head, looking sad again for a moment. “Sirius is dead.”

 

       Snape’s frown deepened, the skin over his knuckles was almost ripping apart, “And what of someone else in the Order? The Weasleys perhaps?” He already knew the answer before Dumbledore spoke.

 

       “I trust no one in the Order as much as you and the Weasleys with this task, and they already have seven children. They do not need another child to worry about.” In this moment Severus hated them for their family. It was now not only a reminder of what he used to long for but what he would now be burdened with. Snape sighed, getting ready to give it one last shot.

 

       “If I accept this task, you will lose me as a spy.”

 

       A watery smile graced Dumbledore’s lips, small and fragile, something he never thought he would see from the man. “Actually Severus, part of the reason you are the best option is because of your status with Voldemort and among the Death Eaters. They trust you, you will be able to hide the boy right under their noses. Protect him from them when he is most vulnerable. They will search, Severus, at first. All of them. Frantically. Later all that will be left will be the truly devoted ones. They will stop at nothing, and risk anything to bring their Lord back. You must be among them; those whose insanity makes their plans hard to read.” Dumbledore was frowning again, looking more exhausted than he had any right to when it was Snape who should be the one worrying.

 

       Snape knew the reason for the man’s watery eyes was the fact that Dumbledore knew that Severus no longer wanted to be a spy. That from the moment he had come to the side of the light he had been trying to get away from that life and that the older wizard had not allowed it. He had used him and made him do horrible things. And Severus had done them, not because he wanted to, but because he had to. He had to do those awful things to stay close to the Dark Lord, and await the moment when he was finally free again. But he still wasn’t.

 

       Snape was still bound to the Dark Lord, was still bound to Dumbledore, and now would be bound once more. This time to a child, who he would serve for, at the least, seventeen years. Seventeen more years of being a pawn in a great chess game, sitting opposite his master.

 

       Severus slumped even farther into the chair, the question that had really been worrying him most was finally coming up, nothing left to hide behind. “But...I’m not-I wouldn’t make a good caretaker…” Snape knew he was not a good person. He wasn’t the type of person who could raise a happy and healthy child. He had given up on that dream long ago.

 

       Pity. It was the only thing left on Dumbledore’s face after Severus had said that. He hated that look. It was a look meant for the fragile and vapid and Snape had promised himself to never be either. So much of his pride was stocked on not being those two things. He wanted to yell and scream, but he knew if he did that the Headmaster’s face would only go softer. So he threw all his emotions behind his occlumency shields to deal with them later (most likely never), before bracing himself for what he knew would be his downfall.

 

       “Severus, now unfortunately Harry cannot live with his remaining family. I had hoped that by having Harry live with Petunia, he would be shielded and sheltered, hidden away from our world. That it would give him the best chance for safety and a normal life. But now there is no one I trust more to raise young Harry than you. No one who could be as fierce a protector and as strong a mentor…” Those soft words would be the end of him and the life he had known. Everything he had built for himself would be destroyed.

 

       “I know you are scared of failing-” Snape wanted to jump in, wanted to say that wasn’t true but he couldn’t lie to this man, at least not about this when he had come to Dumbledore when he had felt as if he had failed or was on the verge of it. Severus realized then that maybe Dumbledore knew too much about him. “And I know that you think you aren’t the right person but I am sure, with time, you will come to understand.”

 

       Snape sat for a few more minutes staring off out the windows. He finally resigned himself to this new task, nodding once before standing up to leave. Dumbledore stopped him with a simple raise of his left hand, before pulling a letter from his robes.

 

       “This is from Lily.” He slid the envelope across the table. Snape wanted to snap out and ask why Dumbledore hadn’t given this letter to him yesterday. Why the man had held onto it. But he held his tongue, now wasn’t the time for lashing out in anger.  “Young Harry will arrive soon; he will be taken straight to Poppy to make sure he is in perfect health.”

 

       Dumbledore didn’t say it but they both knew he was telling Snape to go wait in the infirmary until the boy’s arrival. This was his first new order for this task.

 

       “Also, I have asked the castle to add a room to your chambers. I hope you will find everything you need there. Lastly, thank you. I can never say how much this means, but I hope someday you will find joy in this.” It was as if Dumbledore was trying to reassure himself and not Severus to make himself feel better for forcing a child on someone.

 

       Snape could not bring himself to feel the hatred that he might have felt at any other time in his life for this task. At first he thought it would come later, that at any moment he would hate Dumbledore. But as he sat in the infirmary waiting for the boy to arrive, nothing came. All that happened was an endless stream of thoughts about his new future. About a child he had never even seen nor wanted.

 

      It was a few more hours before he arrived, Hagrid holding the bundle of blankets, making the boy wrapped within them seem dwarfed. Hagrid reluctantly let go of the boy as Pomfrey began checking him over for injuries before laying him down in a crib in front of Severus. Pomfrey left him with the baby,  and continued shuffling about. Now that there was no one to see Severus couldn't help the small, nervous smile that graced his face.

 

      It was a small fragile thing, like the boy sleeping in front of him, bound in a blanket and a scar that looked like actual lightning had hit him. The spell leaving behind a scar as intricate as a snowflake which covered the whole left side of his forehead and went into his hairline. It was blazing red and raised like his mark had been.Severus took in everything about the boy, memorizing the angles of his face and stroking his fingertips across the edge of the scar. The thought that he just might be able to do this, only stayed for a second before disappearing, and ignoring the small spark of hope within himself he opened Lily’s letter.

 

* * *

 

_Dear Severus,_

 

_I hope you’ll never find yourself reading this letter, but as I write this I feel more like it might be the best option. The only option. If you are reading this, James and I are dead or are no longer able to take care of Harry. And so are Sirius, Remus, and Peter. I hope you come to understand why you are the best option in this situation. And I hope you will come to care about Harry as your own._

 

_There are so many things left unsaid between us, so much pain and misery. Too much to ever try to fix within a letter. I find myself looking back to the good years of our childhood, of lying beneath large oak trees, surrounded by roses, as we read about things we could never even dream about. One of the things that I regret most in my life is that we never sat down and talked about our differences. That my childish pride could not see past your anger, to see the true pain you were in; and as we went longer without dealing with those harsh words we said, the more our resentment grew. I can see that now, looking back._

 

_And now my other biggest regret is needing to write this letter in the first place, that I will never see my son grown, never see his first spell, or broom ride, or him being married with a family of his own. I only wish for someone to be there to see those moments and to cherish them._

 

_I know, that after all these years I am asking too much of you. That this isn’t fair of me. But please, love him, and care for him, and teach him about things I am no longer able to. Severus, I know you can be a great father, please just give yourself the chance._

 

_Yours Always,_

_Lily Evans Potter_


	2. Forgive Me, Godson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this one, it was fun.

      All the Heads of House were currently sitting around Dumbledore’s desk. They all had steaming cups of tea and sweets forced onto them the moment they came into the room by the older man. Shockingly, Snape found himself among them. Even though he had been hired as Potions Master for the upcoming year, something that Voldemort at the time had been highly pleased with, he hadn’t expected to become the new Head of Slytherin House. But it made sense once he thought about it; the only other Slytherin teacher was Sinistra and she was notorious for caring more about the stars than anything else. She had even said to Snape once that the only reason she was on the side of the Light, and not neutral, was because Hogwarts had a better view of the night sky than anywhere else in Britain.

 

      After they all got settled and everyone had greeted and congratulated Snape with warm unwavering smiles, Dumbledore started. “Welcome friends, I have gathered you here today to discuss some changes I would like to make for the upcoming school year.”

 

      Everyone waited for him to continue, curious about what was to come. “I think it would be beneficial for the students if we changed their living arrangements.” Madam Sprout gasped and Minerva’s mouth had gone tight. Flitwick, however, just cocked his head as he waited for more information. “I believe that merging the Houses, at least for sleeping arrangements, will help influence the children in a positive way.” Dumbledore shot a quick look towards Snape before moving on. They all knew he was referring to the Slytherins. And unfortunately, Snape had to agree with him. Putting a bunch of impressionable children with older kids, whom had already been brainwashed themselves to believe the same things as their parents and the Dark Lord, didn’t help them to grow into stable adults. Severus wondered how his life might be different if they had done this when he was still a student, if he would have still gone to the Dark Lord.

 

      It was too late to wonder about that now.

 

      Minerva seemed to have questions, “What of the House Cup? And Quidditch? What will happen to us?” All good questions. Madam Sprout was nodding along and even Flitwick was frowning slightly now.

 

       “Worry not, Minerva, everything else will remain as it was. As first years they will be sorted into their Houses but all the students will be living in the same place. I believe the best way to do this is to dorm Slytherins with Gryffindors and Ravenclaws with Hufflepuffs. This way they may grow and become more well-rounded wizards and witches.” Dumbledore’s voice was soft and he was staring off into the distance, though Severus was not sure why.

 

      Minerva spoke up then. “But Albus if we are doing this, wouldn’t it be better  to have one student from each House in a dorm?”

 

      Dumbledore looked pensive for a moment before answering. “Maybe, my dear. However, I believe this would be for the best. I believe bringing them together this way will be the most beneficial.” No one tried to argue with the man because they could all see that he was dead set on this. Severus thought it was a bit foolish to spew House unity and then not to truly unite them but he bit that back.

 

      The older man continued explaining how it would be better for everyone and that there would still be House rivalry that allowed growth and competition. And Dumbledore had worked out all the plans already and had asked the castle to provide for their needs. They talked, and got all the remaining questions sorted out before leaving for dinner.

 

      The meeting had taken place during Harry’s naptime and some of the house-elves were watching over him. When Severus arrived back in his rooms one of the house-elves had Harry in her lap, rocking the boy as she quietly sung to him while the others were setting the dining table.

 

      Severus sat, eating his roast, and contemplated what had occurred today. It was for the best that this was going to happen. It would be better for Harry’s safety, all the student’s safety really. Those more likely to become Death Eaters in the coming war might be swayed or deterred, and those who weren’t would be easier to keep an eye on. They would put portraits in the common rooms that had sibling paintings within the Headmaster's office so that if anything went wrong they could be informed immediately. And prefects from the upper years would be assigned to take care of the new students.

 

      All and all, it would help bind the students together making their ties to each other hopefully unbreakable.

 

* * *

 

 

      Thinking back, the first few days had been the hardest, as Severus got used to the routine of a fourteen month old while learning the boy’s needs. Nappy changes, daily naps, and a bedtime; it was all so strange. His whole schedule was thrown into the wind since the child already had a daily routine. He would wake, eat, and sleep; as he saw fit and Snape had to be there to do anything the boy wanted when he wanted it. He was just glad a house-elf would pop in anytime he needed a nappy change (Snape thanked the heavens for that). The elves would go all bug-eyed over the boy, fawning over him and bringing him new blankets and rattles with each trip; there was even a growing number of decorated dishrags hanging like flags around the boy’s room. Snape had tried to tell them to stop once but the look the elf had given him had been so pitiful he had let them continue.

 

      The only thing that was truly hard and completely heartbreaking was how Harry would often burst into tears whenever someone entered only to see it wasn't the parents who had suddenly disappeared. These bursts of misery became less and less with time but the boy always had a look of longing about him if he wasn’t engaged in something to keep his mind off it.

 

      Severus knew it must have incomprehensible to the boy, one day he had been with two people who had loved him unconditionally and unendingly for two years. He had been safe, secure and happy. And then it had changed. He had been taken away, thrust into the arms of people he didn’t know and he could do nothing about it.

 

      Now though, three months later, Severus had their routine down so well he would wake ten minutes before Harry. He stretched, brushed his hair and teeth and got dressed just in time to hear a wailing coming from the room next to his. Though Snape wished he could hate the child, he really couldn’t. Sometimes he would even try to ignore the boy. It was, however, difficult to do so when the child was crawling over to Snape’s chair, proceeding to gnaw on the edges of his black cloak. Snape would pull the cloak out of the child’s mouth and Harry’s face would go sour before Severus would finally pull the boy into his lap so that he would stop the silly pouting. Harry would smile and then reach out to put Snape’s finger into his mouth, gnawing and drooling away.

  
      Snape, remembering that the boy has lost everything, never pulled his hand away.  

      After all those years of hardening his heart and mind. Distancing himself so that others could never be used against him, here he was, sitting in an overly plush chair at Hogwarts with a child on his lap. The boy smiled around the knuckle in his mouth, saliva dribbling down Snape’s hand. And he didn’t hate it one bit. All Severus could think was: _What has my life come to that I not only found myself with a job at Hogwarts for the upcoming year but also with a child?_ Sometimes he wasn’t sure if he wasn’t in some sort of alternate universe.

 

      As time passed, it got easier to fall into his new role. When Severus needed time to himself there were a number of adults waiting to dote on the boy. At first it had been hard to trust anyone, especially since there were still Death Eaters running around free (something he was working on). It had taken time; Severus wasn’t sure who around him could be trusted. Not for the same reason he wouldn’t trust strangers but because this was his task and it could not be failed. Plus, Lily...and Potter, had trusted Severus with Harry. And as frantic as it made him feel at times, Snape cared for the brat. He would glare for hours sometimes as Harry slept. And sometimes when the boy was awake he’d just stare back at Severus with unwavering trust. It was truly horrifying.

 

      He had done horrible things. Severus owned all of his actions; he had been the one to point his wand at people. He had done those deeds and he had not been under Imperius. He knew better now. But he _had_ done them willingly; and now here was this small, fragile bag of flesh who was depending on him for almost everything, who couldn’t help but to trust him with his physical, emotional, and mental needs. Severus could still do horrible things, he hadn’t changed. It wouldn’t be hard to kill Harry. Just a flick of the wand or a drop of potion, all too easy to end it, to go running back to the Death Eaters.

 

      Harry smiled and Severus knew he was lying to himself. It wouldn’t be easy. It wouldn’t be easy at all. In fact he was sure he would never be able to do it.

 

       He didn’t want to be under the Dark Lord’s influence, forced to do the man’s bidding. It only took him a few weeks to realize that the Dark Lord was insane. That he would never win and that the things he said...while they might have played into his rage at first, they had also made Severus wearier of Voldemort with every day that passed. He had sworn to himself he would never go back to those days. He had heard the whispers, that Voldemort would be back, and something told Snape that it would be more abominable this time around. And now his position was worse; he would be one of the only things standing between the Dark Lord and the power he desired.

 

      He looked down again as Harry started to drift off to sleep, spittle covering his chin with his thumb stuck in his mouth. Severus tried to flattened down his wild black hair, though it only resulted in making an even more of a mess out of it. Whatever power this child had, Snape did not envy him for it.

 

      There were times when the pressure of knowing all this power was within a small child got to be too much. When Severus needed a break from Harry and the daunting responsibility of taking care of a child who would one day have to defeat the Dark Lord, or when he needed some time to himself to think, McGonagall would always be there to care for the child and so would Poppy, Pomona and the others. Most of the time they would entertain Harry with showings of their preferred forms of magic and Harry would break into giggles with each new act. Severus had even caught Minerva in her Animagus form, letting Harry pull on her ears and pet her head. Though, he never mentioned that he had seen this.

 

      Even Hagrid had become one of Harry’s guardians, though, to ease Severus worry, he was never alone with the boy. The man would toss Harry up into the air (luckily always catching him) causing Harry automatically erupting into a fit of giggles. The first time he had done it, it had almost given Severus a heart attack. Severus had always thought that Hagrid, for all he did for the school, was a bit touched in the head. And while he might have never let Harry around the man on his own, because of his unyielding fascination and adoration for dangerous creatures, Harry unfortunately seemed to like him and enjoyed their visits too much for Snape to ever consider stopping them, even if only for his own peace of mind.

 

      He felt vulnerable. For the first time in a long time Severus had a weak point that could be used against him.

 

      This vulnerability didn’t stop growing, only seeming to get worse as the days passed. The first time the boy got the sniffles, he felt as if the world was ending. And then when Madam Pomfrey had refused to cure him, saying that the boy needed to build up his immune system. While Severus knew this was true and that that was how all wizarding children were raised, it didn’t make him feel any better about it. All his sense went out the window when it came to the bundle in his arms, snot dripping down his face and eyes red and teary.

 

      Severus blamed this lack of sense for what he was going to do now that the _last_ of the Death Eaters were finally rounded up and the trials were about to begin. What he was planning was reckless, but it was also the best plan he had come to in all his plotting on how to keep Harry safe.

 

      Potion bottles clinked in his cloak pocket as he went to drop off Harry with Dumbledore for the day. Harry was balanced on his hip babbling away about getting to spend time with Dumbledore. His speech was getting better, less slurred together and words getting more distinct. It still made Snape smile fondly when Harry failed to say his name correctly, always coming out as “Thevruth”. They had been working on the _S_ which so far seemed to be the boy’s worst letter. Though when he tried to say longer words he tended to mix and mess up other letters as well.

 

      Harry reached out his hands towards Dumbledore the moment the older man came into view, and once Harry was in his arms, he hid his face in Dumbledore’s long beard, gripping onto the silver ties’ tassels that bound it together. The Headmaster beamed as he always did when he had the young boy in his arms, gently stroking through his dark hair as Harry mumbled into the mess of beard. Snape made out a barely audible, “Gandpa” which Severus thought might cause Dumbledore to cry.

 

      There was never a doubt in Snape’s mind that Dumbledore had always wanted a large family. And while Dumbledore might have all of Hogwarts, but they both knew having Harry call him grandpa, no matter how mispronounced, meant something to the man that no amount of students or staff could bring him.

 

      Severus said his goodbyes. Harry hugging him tightly like he might never come back (and if he failed he might not), Dumbledore looked at him and they both realized they knew what he was going to do and where he was going. Dumbledore nodded as he let him leave through the fireplace in his office with only the quietest, “Be safe,” before he was whisked away into the flames.

 

      Snape arrived in the Leaky Cauldron, quickly spelling his robes clean from ash before heading to Beacon Knoll Street. He easily made his way down the streets and alleys until he arrived in front of a small, boarded up townhouse. No one seemed to notice him at all; this had been part of the reason he had always preferred black robes to the traditional multicolored wizarding robes which were meant to attract attention. They were horrible for sneaking about.

 

      He made quick work on the lock before slipping into the house, it was small, dark and smelt of mold. The over stuffed, gaudy furniture was covered in dust, the sign of a fallen pureblood family. Wand at the ready, Snape made his way around the house always keeping an eye open for traps; though, he was sure there would be none. He found the knocked out Auror laid out on the kitchen floor, Snape’s letter still in hand. The man was thin as a rail with dark circles under his eyes, and Severus might have felt bad for him if he didn’t know that this man was one of the Dark Lord’s best spies. He was part of the Ministry without being of any notable value or status, no one paid attention to what he did or where he went. Corvus Robards was indeed the perfect person for Snape to use. He reached down, plucking out a few of his hairs in different places so that there was no obvious disturbance then taking the letter and burning it and leaving the man there for the Aurors to find after the trials began and Robards’ name came out.

 

      The bubbling of the Polyjuice potion after the hairs had been dropped in always fascinated Severus. The potion stopped, settling into a sludge like substance with the smell of sewage overwhelming his senses. He could hope for nothing better from the person from which the essence had come but he had held out hope.

 

      It was hard to get down his throat, body desperately trying to get him to reject it but he swallowed stubbornly before putting on Robards’ Auror robes and using his fireplace to arrive at the Ministry. There were people bustling about, all preoccupied with the work in their hands letting their feet guide them so Severus did the same. He was confident that the hardest part was over now and the closer he got to the holding cells the less likely it seemed that anyone might suspect something was off.

 

      No one stopped to greet him, nobody seemed to notice him as he walked by, starting his descent into the dungeons, these walls reminded him nothing of the comfort he found in the dungeons of Hogwarts. The echo of screams here were nothing like the soft bells of laughter that centuries of students had etched into the walls he knew so well. The cracks and chips in these walls were unknown to him unlike every inch of the dungeons he called home. It almost unnerved him. Almost.  

 

      When he finally got to the main door to the holding cells there was an Auror standing there looking tired beyond imagination, it suited his needs perfectly. The woman looked gleeful when Severus told  her that her shift was over and she quickly left without a backwards glance. Snape stood for a few minutes in front of the door, making sure no one was in sight, before heading inside. He knew no matter what he did if he got caught now there was no way out.

 

      Snape walked down the corridor, slowly making his way to the first cell door. While the name on the door was unfamiliar to him he knew it would look suspicious if he only gave the Death Eaters water. He filled the conjured glass with a whispered, “ _Aguamenti”_  and handed it to the man as he entered the room. He was extremely gaunt and his skin sickly gray. Severus felt bad for him. He knew that if he hadn’t become a spy for Dumbledore’s side he probably would have been in the same position. His bones ached at the thought.

 

      Not all of them looked like this, some were just peacefully sitting on their beds waiting to bribe or lie their way out of the situation. But there were some that looked frantic, Severus knew it was those who couldn’t lie to save their lives or did not have the leverage to get themselves out of this situation.

 

      Some he knew, some he didn’t, but he did the same thing for each of them. A glass of water laced with the clear potion in his pocket, never saying anything to any of them. Afraid he would ruin his cover. This continued until he got to the last cell, which held Lucius. Severus almost chuckled at how dramatic it all was. Cup prepared he walked into the cell. It was small just like all the others but somehow the man in it made it seem much larger than it actually was. Severus was sure this reaction was mainly caused by his own nervousness about the situation. Lucius didn’t seem to realize that anything was off.

 

      Severus sat the glass down on a wobbly desk, while Lucius glared at him. Then the man finally spoke, “Why are you holding me here? I have already said I was under the Imperius curse.” He was utterly calm, and if Severus didn’t know any better he might have believed him.

 

      Severus, however, knew better.

 

      He said nothing as he left the room, only glancing over his shoulder to see Lucius take a gentle sip, and hoped that this would work and that he could get out of the Ministry to return home. To Hogwarts. To Harry.

 

      There was a slight feeling of guilt over robbing his godson of his father but Severus knew Harry was more important. That the boy would have a bigger role to play. And maybe, hopefully, this way Draco would not be pulled into his father’s pureblood mania. Narcissa had always been more sensible.

 

      The feeling that he would soon be tackled and arrested rose within him as he took step after step closer to the exit. Snape’s shoulders slumped slightly under the pressure. When he finally passed through the door he found himself automatically walking towards the Atrium. No one was looking at him or tried to talk to him.

 

      The flames licked at his skin as he went back to the Leaky Cauldron. Severus was almost home, he couldn’t believe it. It was almost too good to be true. He had carefully planned it sure, but he had been certain it was too simple to work. That there was no way the Ministry was so incompetent that they would have allowed just anyone to walk into the Auror’s offices and furthermore the holding cells. But it seemed to have worked after all. He waited out his retransformation in the bathroom, it only took a few more minutes before Severus’ skin began to crawl, hair growing and clothes no longer fitting him. After quickly changing into his own robes and burning the robes he had been wearing, he made his way back into the main room of the Leaky, and then using the fireplace to return to Hogwarts.

 

      Dumbledore and Harry were waiting for him to get back both smiling (though Harry’s was bigger and with less teeth). Harry held out his hands, making little grabby motions for Snape to come pick him up.

 

      It didn’t really sink in. Not until the moment the boy was back in his arms and telling him about all the things he and Dumbledore had done today, even if he hadn’t been gone that long. It was only then Snape seemed to realize that he no longer needed to worry.

 

      Ever since he had become Harry’s guardian he had been worried about the Death Eater trials. That they might not all be put away. That they might be released. That they might find out about Harry.

 

      But he no longer needed to worry about any of those things.

 

      Severus had spent years working on a variation of the Veritaserum potion. It had started in his fifth year of school, because Slughorn had been an absolute fool, and Severus had completely given up learning anything else from that man. Snape spent those classes scribbling notes into his books and thinking of potions he could improve.

 

      Veritaserum, while it did what it was meant to do, was easy to spot and too forceful to really use undetected.

 

      It was the challenge Severus had been looking for. He had stayed up late into the night brewing Veritaserum with small changes, looking for the perfect way to fix it. Slughorn’s personal storerooms had become Snape’s and the other students had been his guinea pigs.

 

      The current version was lighter and instead of forcing the user to admit the truth it compelled them to answer truthfully. Making it nearly undetectable. It wasn’t perfect, it could be broken with enough determination or if the victim knew that they were under a compulsion. And it didn’t work on those whose minds were altered or unstable.

 

      But it did what he needed at the moment. The caught Death Eaters would admit to their crimes, they wouldn’t say they were under Imperius, or any other compulsion to do the Dark Lord’s bidding.

 

      It would keep Severus’ new life safe.

 

      It would keep Harry safe.


	3. Growing Pains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a day early because I will be celebrating my birthday tomorrow. Also I hope you are all ready because it's pretty much all fluff from here.

      After Severus’ break-in into the Ministry, he and Harry finally fell completely into their routine, which consisted of Snape juggling potions and an ever more mobile ninteen-month-old. He could no longer just put Harry into a chair by his side while he worked on potions and hope that the boy would be entertained. All the toys in the world would only keep Harry’s attention for about five minutes tops before he was whining to get down and explore. Because of this want for exploration the potions lab had been baby-proofed. Severus still had a job to do but now he had to think more carefully about how he did it. 

 

      At the moment Harry’s favorite thing to do seemed to be asking what everything was, even if he had asked before. It seemed like the boy understood what Snape was saying but for some reason couldn’t repeat what the things were called. Like how he would only say red, which seemed to be his favorite color much to Severus’ dismay (the Gryffindors couldn’t have him yet), but he enjoyed sorting potions by color so Snape knew Harry knew what all the colors were. When asked he would even hand over the correct colored potion. 

 

      The boy also seemed to delight in making the house-elves cry out of joy and shock by squealing out their names whenever they were around. Even if he didn’t say the names correctly or called them by names not their own they all seemed to appreciate the effort, seemingly trying to stuff him with pineapple, Harry’s favorite, in return. 

 

      Currently the toddler was sitting on top of a desk right next to Snape’s work station. The edges were charmed so that Harry would float gently right back up to the table if he went over the edge. After the sensation of falling had gotten boring Harry turned back to his toys and bottles filled with colored liquid. He would babble away in half formed words as he sorted and resorted these things over and over in ways that both made sense and didn’t. Sometimes he would just throw things over the edge of the table, giggling as they came back to him. Severus couldn’t help but smile and walk over to rub at Harry’s hair and spend a few minutes playing with him, before heading back over to his cauldron and throwing in a few ingredients. 

 

      Severus never imagined he would be able to seamlessly fit playing and potions into his daily schedule, but it all worked out in the end.

 

* * *

 

      As of late, Harry had been getting rather clingy, not that anyone seemed to mind. But whenever Severus was in his potions lab Harry would demand to be held. The boy would bury his head into Snape’s neck and fall asleep or quietly ask what was happening or why the potion was bubbling. Severus was worried about what was wrong but Harry would clam up every time he was asked, so Severus didn’t push it. 

 

      Harry finally seemed ready to talk about what had been on his mind after a week. So quietly, as if he didn’t really mean to say it Harry asked a question that shook Snape to his core, leaving him cut open and raw. 

 

      “Are you my dad?” It didn’t come out exactly like that but Snape understood what he had meant to say.

 

      Snape hugged the boy in his arms harder, crushing him against his chest. Once he finally figured out what to say he pulled Harry away from his body, looking into the boy’s eyes, before he finally said, “No, I’m not.” The words, while the truth, hurt to say and judging from the look on Harry’s face hurt to hear. 

 

      Before Snape could say anything else, to assure the boy that he need not worry, Harry spoke again, his voice almost broken, “Will you be?” The look on Harry’s face was almost heartbreaking, Snape would do anything so that the boy would never have to have that look on his face again.

 

      It was easier than he thought it would be, to say yes, to be able to make the boy smile with just one word, “Yes.” 

 

      They were quickly back to hugging, Harry bawling on his shoulder and Severus tearing up a little himself. He had not thought Harry would ever feel this way, that he needed to worry about the child being insecure, obviously he was wrong. 

 

      Every day he learned things he had never thought to think or worry about. Severus knew better now, realizing that Harry was truly his own being, who had insecurities just like everyone else. And that Severus was the person that, hopefully, Harry would go to with them. 

 

      But currently all he felt was sadness because no two year old should ever have to worry about these types of questions. Should never have to bear the burden of knowing he did not know his own parents. Of worrying that Severus could leave him at any moment.

 

      Severus had never thought to explain what a family was to Harry, not sure he even really knew himself, beyond what was in the bedtime stories Harry always fell asleep to. Snape held the boy close, realizing then that this was what family was. That him being able to say,  _ yes  _ without so much as a second thought meant more than blood. 

 

      Yes, they were family. And while their family was small, broken and new, it was theirs. And Severus wouldn’t let go of it for anything.

 

* * *

 

      Snape found out pretty quickly that children would either make no sense at all or used a nonsensical sort of logic. Today Harry had decided to tell Snape, on their way out to their garden (which was now covered in snow), that the reason he was wearing his coat upside down was because, ‘ _ My butt gets cold.’  _

 

      Severus’ brows had automatically pinched together. He could have easily caste a warming charm on the boy so that he would have stayed toasty, but the boy had solved his problem on his own, in a strangely logical way. Because, of course adding a layer of clothes to the area that got cold would solve the problem. 

 

      Now that the boy was in bed for the night Severus found himself chuckling lowly about how strange the situation had been. It was odd, this joy and wonder Harry brought to his life. The constant new outlook he had on every thing, seeing it through the mind of a child. 

 

      Severus picked up his cup of tea and continued to read through the potions magazine in his hand. Every once and awhile the memory from early today popped back into his mind and he would laugh and move on. 

 

* * *

 

      After Harry had had complained about his hair a few times, Severus decided to do something about it. It was shaggy, past his shoulders and had a tendency to get tangled. Every night after a bath Harry would almost cry when Severus brushed his hair. Even though he tried his hardest to be gentle, picking apart knots with his fingers for hours. But no matter how careful Severus tried to be it did not seem to help. And finally, Harry in all of his frustration, begged Snape to cut it. 

 

      Since Snape usually cut his own hair when he noticed it was getting a bit long, just a few snips with some scissors and that was that, he hadn’t thought of taking Harry to a professional. In his own stupidity he had tried this technique (or lack thereof) on Harry’s hair. After only a few snips Severus realized this wasn’t going as he envisioned it. Once a few locks were cut off he noticed that the hair, weighed down by its former length now sprung up and went everywhere. 

 

      Even though it wasn’t going as planned Severus pushed on, hoping for the best. Only about halfway through he realized really just what a mess he was making. Harry’s hair was now all different lengths and going in every direction possible. Since it was so messy Snape didn’t see where a piece of Harry’s hair started and cut part of his fringe extremely short. It stuck away from the boy’s head like a spike which ran parallel to the floor. That was when Severus finally admitted defeat. 

 

      He had completely ruined Harry’s hair, it was a short mess and it seemed as if the boy had been zapped by lightning. Severus felt guilty for screwing up this badly. He knew it was stupid to feel this way, that Harry wouldn’t even know something was off and that it would eventually grow back. But at that moment it didn’t matter. 

 

      It felt as if he had missed an opportunity to prove himself and his parenting skills. It felt insane. Even after Harry was put to bed Snape continued to stay awake, thinking about why it felt so horrid. He could not reason it out. 

 

      When Severus went to bed, his self-doubting thoughts were still running through his mind right until the moment when he finally fell asleep. 

 

      When he was jumped on at early dawn he knew immediately Harry was awake, the boy was already babbling about something or another. It was too early for this much excitement. Severus tackled him, fake snoring loudly, trying to get Harry to be quiet and go back to sleep. Harry was having none of that, Snape’s mouth suddenly filled with hair and a sloppy kiss being pressed to his cheek. “Daddy, daddy look!”

 

      Snape opened one eye, scowling at Harry who didn’t seem to care one bit. 

 

      Then he noticed it.

 

      Harry’s hair was not the mess it had been the night before. It now looked just like Potter’s had when they were in school. Shaggy, unruly, and regrettably handsome. It fit him, piercing green eyes peeking out around a mop of jet black hair. 

  
      Severus decided that it looked good and that he would have to figure out how to cut it this way. It was short enough that it wouldn’t get so tangled but long enough to way down the strands a little, not leaving him looking like a pygmy puff. At least now Severus knew that if he messed it up, it would fix itself again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to update again tomorrow so watch out for that. I hope you enjoy and also the first two sections since they were based on true stories from my own childhood. Most of the stories in this fic are actually, or from my sister. 
> 
> Lastly, I am sorry about any missed spelling or grammar problems since I do not have a beta but oh well, I will muddle along.

       When Harry hit three he seemed to instantly become an absolute nightmare.

 

      There was no longer even a moment’s rest, Snape found himself chasing and cleaning up after the boy almost non-stop. Harry was always rummaging through his toys and Snape belongings, leaving things everywhere and getting beyond frustrated when Severus tried to make him clean up his mess. Severus always made sure to send the house elves away before Harry to sneak around and ask them to do it. Or he would end up throwing his clothes off and run about like a madman, screaming at the top of his lungs. 

 

      And while Snape was quick to reprimand the child and Harry seemed always learn not to do that exact particular thing again, Harry always managed to come up with new and creative ways to break the rules. He was starting to seem more and more like a Gryffindor through and through. Not because he was constantly breaking rules but because he was so open about the way he did it. So carefree and reckless. Severus knew Harry was testing his boundaries, feeling out how far he could push Snape before he pushed back. 

 

      Harry finally seemed to learn Snape meant business with boundaries when Harry, at first teasingly, reached out for one of the cabinets in Snape’s study where he kept all his dangerous ingredients. While the cabinet was locked tight and there was no real threat if Harry reached out for it Severus didn’t want to allow this kind of disobedience or encourage bad habits. Snape reached out and lightly slapped Harry’s wrist. Harry looked up at him in confusion, as Snape said,  _ “No.”  _

 

      Harry continued to stare at him while a little chubby hands reaching out for the cabinet once more. And again Severus slapped his wrist, this time a little harder while chiding  _ No  _ again with more force. It was then that he realized the boy would continue this until Severus made it crystal clear that what he was trying to do was completely unacceptable and that he would not stand for this. The boy reached out one last time, so slowly it seemed as if he thought that Severus might not see him if he did it this way. Snape glared, eyes piercing and sharp and he brought down his hand, landing with a loud  _ thwap _ . 

 

      Harry looked absolutely scandalized, eyes and mouth wide open as he cradled his hand against his chest. He wasn’t hurt, not physically, he was just shocked Severus had gone that far. 

 

      “I told you not to do that,” Severus voice was frosty, still glaring down at the boy. It took a whole minute before Harry fully reacted, eyes starting to water before he finally launched himself at Severus’ leg, squeezing it tightly and pleading over and over for Snape to forgive him.

 

      Of course Snape did, but he still put on a front of subtle disappointment, not wanting Harry to take this lightly. Discipline was something many of the students Severus taught were missing. Snape wasn’t willing to slack when it came to this, he wanted the boy to grow up happy, healthy and ready for the real world along with all its challenges. 

 

      Nevertheless, it was awfully difficult to be the bad parent who sat his child in a corner and ignored him (even if he was bawling his eyes out) until the boy realized what he had done wrong and fully accepted it. After Harry had learned his lessons he would always be right back in Snape’s arms, getting the affection he needed to make his short isolation better. It was quite insane to be honest, but Snape wouldn’t change this insanity for the world. 

 

      And even though all the spilled potions (luckily nothing dangerous), thrown food, tantrums, and fits of creativity (usually in the form of art on the walls) where a hassle at times, Severus always found himself smiling about it later. He also made sure he took pictures of almost everything afterwards to embarrass Harry later on in life. What kind of parent would Snape be if he didn’t at least do this? He even had an embarrassing naked baby picture to someday show Harry’s wife. 

 

      The newest one Snape had added to his album was a picture of Harry, stuck in a cauldron, eye’s barely above the rim, looking as if he was on the cusp of tears. It had been terrifying in the moment, Snape automatically worrying that there might be something in the pot, residue left on it that might hurt Harry. But after he realized it was clean Severus couldn’t help but laugh and whip out the camera he now kept at all times in his cloak, before going over to pull out a pouty child. 

 

      Severus was pretty sure Harry had knocked over the self-righting pot, then climbed into it, and then the cauldron did what it was charmed to do. It had probably thrown Harry off guard and therefore the reason for the almost tears and the massive cuddles Severus got afterwards for being the boy’s savior.

 

      Three, Snape decided, wasn’t actually such a bad age.  

 

* * *

 

      If there was one thing Severus hated most about having a three year old it was how curious and blunt they could be. They ask whatever was on their mind and they held back no punches. And while Severus had seen this a few times in action he had yet to be on the receiving end of it. 

 

      Harry had not held back when he asked why Hagrid was so “ _ monsterly big _ ”, or why Dumbledore was so wrinkly, and where Minerva’s clothes went when she transformed into a cat. Snape had been careful in his explanation to the boy on why his questions were inappropriate, but Harry never seemed to understand, he always gave Severus a look of utter befuddlement before going off to play again. 

 

      Now though, he felt the embarrassment everyone else must have felt. He could feel the skin over his cheekbones tingeing red. Harry was sitting at his side, chunky children’s book in his hands though he wasn’t reading it, he was at the stage where he was copying what Snape did. The boy had just said, “ _ Dad, why is your hair so shiny?” _

 

      Snape didn’t know how to answer that, and instead quickly distracted the boy by asking if he wanted some pineapple. The boy jumped up in excitement, completely forgetting about his earlier question as a house-elf popped into the chambers setting a plate of pineapple wheels on the coffee table along with a sippy cup of water and a cup of tea for Snape. 

 

      That night, when Severus got into the bath, he scrubbed at his hair for a good twenty minutes, getting all the Sleekeazy out of his hair. It clinged to his scalp and to each strand, built up over the years. One of the warning on the potion was that it needed to be washed out within twenty four hours because it would bind. 

 

      Unfortunately, Severus had never been that good about keeping track of time when it came to taking care of himself. The only reason he had gotten better was because now he had a child who needed to eat and sleep at regular intervals. There were still days that Snape would forget to take care of himself, would forget to bathe or forget to sleep, but it was better than it ever had been. 

 

      But because of his forgetfulness his hair had over the years taken on an extremely shiny quality, weighed down by the potion making it seem like it was drenched in grease. Though, Severus was pretty sure he had in fact never completely cleaned his hair, always trying to get out of the shower as fast as possible so he could get back to work.

 

      There was a strange lightness to his hair when he got out of the shower even though it was still dripping wet. He pulled a towel around himself, rubbing down his skin until he was at least mostly dry, then wrapping it around his hair and pulling on his nightgown. 

 

      Severus went to bed, after reading from one of his potion texts, hair still slightly damp. 

 

      When Severus woke up the next morning, going to the toilet to start his day he remembered suddenly after seeing his reflection in the mirror why he had started using the Sleekeazy in the first place. His hair was a big frizzy mess. 

 

      Snape sighed, pulling out the bottle of potion and splashing it onto his hands before running it through his hair. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy and once again sorry for the lack of beta.

      A few months after Harry’s fourth birthday the weather seemed to take a turn for the worse. It had been raining non-stop, the ceiling of the great hall had been almost pitch black for a week, interrupted by the odd bolt of lightning (which never failed to remind Snape of Harry every time it happened). And while storms normally weren’t audible down in the dungeon, drowned out by the non-stop waves hitting the stone walls from the lake, now, hours after Snape had put Harry down for the night the thunder was deafening. 

 

      Severus turned onto his other side, pulling the dark green quilt farther up his body. The thunder clapped again, rumbling for a full minute before finally settling back down. He turned again, unable to get comfortable. All he wanted at this point was to fall asleep, a good night's rest being something he already gave up on.

 

      Suddenly, his wards went off; a tinkling of bells within his mind, to let him know Harry was out of bed. Snape was surprised the thunder hadn’t woken the boy up sooner. He waited for the door to be pushed open with an extremely drawn out squeak as if the boy was trying not to wake Severus. 

 

      Severus kept his eyes closed as Harry snuck into his bed, crawling up against Severus’ chest, Teddy, the bear, tucked between them. After Harry gave his teddy bear a goodnight kiss, Snape was shocked to he received one as well. It was tooth-rottingly-sweet and sealed with a sleepy, “Love you, dad.”

 

      Severus couldn’t help replying, “Love you too.” Smiling before pecking Harry on the forehead and ordering him to go to sleep. They laughed for a few seconds before falling fast asleep. The thunder outside completely forgotten.

 

* * *

 

      “Get in the bath you dirty little monster,” Snape sneered, pushing Harry towards the edge of the tub. The boy was already naked, soil covering almost every inch of his skin as if he had rolled around in it. The boy finally got in, and the shallow water that lapped at his skin left  the water dirty and Harry only half clean. Severus sighed, pulling the stopper and grabbing the shower head to rinse the boy off properly. 

 

      If there was one thing Harry hated most in the world it was probably showers. Snape was quick to rinse the boy, Harry giving him the most hateful frown as the water poured down his body but at least he was no longer sitting in his own filth. 

 

      Once the last of the dirt swirled down the drain Snape put up the shower head and started to fill the tub again. The boy still had a dirty look on his face, brows furrowed. “If you don’t stop that your face will get stuck that way,” Severus said as he grabbed the bath toy basket from under the sink. Harry looked shocked, pulling at his cheeks to make sure everything was okay.

 

      Severus couldn’t help the little chuckle that left his mouth. Harry forgot his anger about the shower the moment that Snape set the basket on the edge of the tub. Harry immediately started picking out all his favorites, the tiny dragons that would blow bubbles at you or squirt water and the bath crayons. As soon as he got his hands on them the boy started coloring on the edge of the tub and playing with his Welsh Green, who was squirting water at Harry’s back, as Snape dumped bubble bath into the warm water, swishing it around with his hand to make the bubbles form. 

 

      Harry giggled, kicking his chubby legs through the bubbles, making them pop and ruining Snape’s work. Snape continued to flick his hand around, making his wrist ache, until the bubbles were high and stiff. He pulled back watching as the tiny dragons flew and dived through the bubbles and shot water at each other and the boy. Harry had taken to drawing different creatures Hagrid had showed him, on the tub, wiping them away if he wasn’t happy with the picture or he needed more room. 

 

      While the dragons were charmed not to splash or squirt anyone outside of the bath, Harry was not. The boy was splashing water at the Chinese Fireball who flew in front of Snape’s face, the water missing the dragon as it flew on and hit Severus. His hair stuck to his face and water dripped down his nose. 

 

      Harry burst out into laughter, cheeks going red and blotchy. Severus frowned down at the boy, waiting for an apology. That, however, was not what he got. 

 

      Harry looked up at him with faux innocence, the Welsh Green sitting on his shoulder, before splashing Severus once again. 

 

      Shock, that was what Snape felt. Then outrage as he picked up one of Harry’s crayons and scribbles across the boy’s forehead in big uppercase letters “BRAT” before pulling out his wand and casting  _ Aguamenti  _ at the boy. 

 

      It wasn’t hard enough to hurt, but soon they were both laughing and completely soaked. 

 

* * *

 

      When Harry started squinting, Severus’ first thought was that he had something in his eye, maybe an out of place eyelash. But after Harry had said that his sight was blurry they went straight to the infirmary. Within two seconds of being in Madam Pomfrey’s presence, Snape not even getting the chance to explain what was going on, she declared, “Oh, looks like young Harry might need glasses.”

 

      Severus had not even thought of this, had forgot that people weren’t just born wearing glasses. And it looked like Harry was a little more like his father than he had first thought. He just hoped the boy would end up in a more sensible house...like Slytherin. 

 

      They went back to their rooms after Pomfrey did a full check up and Harry received a clean bill of health. Severus got them ready for a trip to Diagon Alley. This would be their first trip out of the castle but there was only one place to go to get glasses that suited a Wizard. And after they went and got the glasses they would never have to do it again. Snape was only slightly worried that something would happen, even though they would both be under a glamour and they would not dally during their task. This was a risk that needed to be taken. 

 

      He did not tell this to Dumbledore since he knew the man, while fond of Harry, would not risk this, even for something as important as glasses. The old man would probably make Severus go to a muggle eye doctor but what Dumbledore didn’t think of was that it would take much longer and Harry would still have to leave Hogwarts. And that then they would have to do a checkup every year. No this way was better. 

 

      When he first cast the glamour on himself Harry freaked out slightly, not understanding where Snape went until he did it a few more times so the boy would understand. After that they left through the Floo, Harry on his hip, going directly to Wagtail’s Eyewear. Harry squealed in  Severus ear as the butterflies inside his stomach fluttered as they whooshed into the shop, now covered in soot. Snape quickly cleaned them both up.

 

      Kathleen Wagtail was a nice older lady who had a giant pair of green horned glasses framed with frizzy brown hair. If anyone looked the part of their job it was her. The shop was empty, filled with the soft sound of the Weird Sisters playing on her gramophone, and Severus breathed a sigh of relief, this would make everything easier. 

 

      Harry, who wasn’t used to meeting strangers had hidden his face into Snape’s neck, shyly peeking out to look at Mrs. Wagtail. Kathleen just cooed at the boy saying, “What a handsome young man, he will look even better after we get him sorted.” Before quickly scurrying off to the back of the shop to get something.

 

      Severus held onto Harry tightly, still slightly worried about being out of the castle, wand gripped in his hand like a vice incase anything happened. While Harry’s back was facing away from any of the doors. He stiffened slightly when Wagtail came back out, but she was only holding a completely clear set of glasses that seemed to not want to keep their shape. 

 

      She walked up to them, smiling with blushing cheeks and directed them to a work-bench. Severus put Harry on it leaving him almost at eye height. The boy tried to grab back onto Snape, but once calmed and understanding what was going on he stilled. Kathleen explained what would happen when the glasses were put on Harry’s face; that they would transform into the glasses most suited for Harry and that if his eyesight got worse they would adjust to accommodate that.

 

      Harry didn’t quite understand but he was okay with Mrs. Wagtail placing the glasses on his face. At first Harry kept trying to look at the glasses, making him go cross-eyed, but after a while he finally looked up at Snape. The once clear glasses had transformed into big circular ones with a thin black wire frames, and for a second Severus was thrown off at how much the boy looked like his father. But his eyes, now focused and sharp, were  _ oh so _ Lily. 

 

      “Can you see better Harry?” Severus asked, trying to distract himself by what he saw in those too green eyes. 

 

      “Yeah,” Harry quietly mumbled shyly, while looking all around not really knowing what to do. 

 

      “What do you think of them?” Kathleen quickly asked as she held a mirror up to his face. They both knew that these glasses could be nothing but perfect but it was nice of her to ask anyways. 

 

      Harry was staring at himself like he couldn’t believe that was what he looked like. Once again, Harry mumbled as if not sure what was really going on, “I think I love them…” Blushing and hiding his face slightly from Mrs. Wagtail. She cooed at him again, clapping her hands and telling Severus how much it would be.

 

      Snape pulled out his coin purse, paying the lady and picking Harry up so that they could leave. But now when they whooshed away through the Floo Severus could feel the wire frames of Harry’s glasses digging into his neck. 

 

* * *

 

      It was interesting to see Harry start lying, to see what wild excuses he came up with. Currently the boy was sitting on the couch, looking as guilty as possible with crumbs and spit surrounding his mouth.  

 

      Though Severus never cooked his quarters did have a small kitchenette, normally stocked with tea and a few snacks for if either of them got hungry during the night. One of the few things that was always in the cupboards was a few different jars of biscuits and treats which served as rewards for when Harry behaved or did chores without having to be asked. 

 

      Snape was generous when it came to rewards and praise. There was no need for Harry to go sneaking around and stealing all the biscuits. Severus didn’t need to ask to know that it had been Harry, but he wanted to give the boy the chance to explain himself. 

 

      “Do you know what happened to the biscuits?” His tone was not accusatory, just curious. 

 

      And then Harry said, “I don’t know...I think it was Thestrals.”

 

      “Really?” Severus said dryly. Harry’s eyes widened for a second before he nodded shallowly. Snape hummed, “I didn’t see them.” Severus knew he was glaring slightly now, to know that Harry would lie to him, even if it was flimsy and seethrough, was both heartening and disheartening. 

 

      On one hand at least his son wasn’t wholly Gryffindor, but on the other, to know that his son was willing to hide anything from him, even if it was just biscuits was horrific. To know that one day Harry might lie to him about something important was unthinkable.

 

      Severus realized then that he would have to learn to trust Harry and that this childish lie wasn’t a precursor to much if anything at all. It was something all kids learned at one point or another.

 

      The boy cut off his musing, “No one ever does.” 

 

      Snape wanted to say that the boy was wrong, that if it really had been Thestrals Severus would have in fact seen them. But then there would be questions, questions he didn’t want to have to answer. It was too bad Hagrid and Harry were close and that the boy knew about more magical creatures than any other wizard Severus knew, except for of course Hagrid. Severus shook his head at the boy, and while he might want to let this go Harry had to know this was not acceptable. 

 

      Harry was put into time out, and he wasn't allowed to leave until he finally admitted that yes, it was he who ate the biscuits. After that Severus had a long talk with the boy about being allowed to eat no matter what time it was and that he never had to lie about food. As well as that Snape wanted the boy to be as honest with him as possible. 

 

      Harry nodded, eyes wide and guilty for what he had done earlier. 

  
      The look of absolute remorse and shame on Harry’s face let Snape know he had nothing to worry about. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a very slight edit to the beginning of chapter two. It doesn't change anything major, just is a little about how Harry seems to feel about being taken away from his family and put with strangers.

      Harry had insisted, only moments after he blew out the candles on his birthday cake, that since he was now five he was old enough to go to school just like all the other kids. Dumbledore snickered, before handing Harry a present and the boy, in a flash, forgot his previous request and went straight to ripping up wrapping paper.

 

      Severus thought on this a lot. The fact that there were things to be learned from Muggles that unfortunately so many pureblood families decided weren’t worth their time. And Snape didn’t want to raise Harry that way. 

 

      That and, as much as he would like to, Severus didn’t have enough time during the school year to teach Harry everything he needed to learn while also teaching his normal classes. During the summer Severus spent everyday teaching Harry maths and reading, along with other important things. The first few weeks had been hard. While Snape had learned patience he would never have otherwise, so far he was still short tempered at times. 

 

      Sometimes when teaching Harry, Snape would have to take a break, sit down and take a few breaths. Teaching a child, let alone his own, wasn’t like teaching any other student. He couldn’t yell or call him names even though it was almost his second nature, having a soft spot for one kid wasn’t the same as being nice to all other snotty nosed brats, and it was hard to restrain his tongue. 

 

      There were many times at the beginning of that school year where Severus caught himself yelling at students, and while he normally never gave it a second thought, now after teaching Harry, after the struggles of raising a child, he couldn’t help but care at least a little. He would catch himself starting to lecture and suddenly stopping. The hurt on the students face would be pathetic but it always reminded him of Harry a little. All wide eyed and snotty. But most of all confused and innocent. 

 

      Severus had eased up some on his students, more so because of Harry than anything else. And if his students started getting better grades, well he just decided to attribute that to his superb teaching skills. 

 

      What surprised Severus the most though was how much Harry seemed to enjoy learning from Professor Burbage, who amazed the boy with pens and glitter where the beauty of maths had been lost on him. Which was fine, Harry was a five year old and some of his first years seemed to have worse maths skills. What he hated most about this was how sticky Harry always came back. Covered in glue, glitter (which was the bane of the earth to which no cleaning spell affected) and all other unmentionable horrors. But the boy seemed to revel in his mess. 

 

      That and Harry seemed to have more fun with someone who wasn’t Severus which he was also unhappy about. But he would never admit that to any soul.

 

* * *

 

      “No,” Severus said again, a vein above his eyebrow twitching and his anger getting harder and harder to control. 

 

      Harry was lying face down on their living room rug, little fist banging at the ground and legs flailing. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, that he would not go to bed if he couldn’t have a bedtime story. 

 

      Snape sighed. Today had been bad. They woke up late and it had thrown their whole schedule off and unfortunately had made them missed naptime. Worst thing yet. Harry had been grumpy and irritable, not even eating his greens which he was normally so good about. Severus knew the child was extremely tired so when it came bedtime he had tried to get bathing done as fast as possible and hurry Harry to bed. He had seemed okay with this until Snape informed him that there would be no bedtime story tonight. That was when Harry had become extremely distraught. 

 

      After Snape realized that this was going to become a tantrum, which were normally not nearly this bad or long, he had tried to calm the boy. Tried assuring him that they would read two tomorrow and that they were both too tired to do it tonight. Harry did not care, the one thing the boy hated the most was having his schedule thrown off or changed. 

 

      He tried again, hoping that the boy would wear himself out soon and just pass out on the rug, “Harry, we are not reading tonight and no amount of tears will change this.” Severus realized just how tired he was at that moment and just wished he could go climb into bed himself. He had to be careful of his own temper when this exhausted. 

 

      But before he could try and step back from the situation, to try and figure out the best way to resolve this, Harry looked at him dead in the eye before screaming, “You are the worst! I hate you and never want to see you again! You don’t let me play with the other kids!” Before running to his room and slamming the door. 

 

      Dumbstruck by this Snape sat in his chair for a few more minutes, mouth closing and opening again and again against his will. Harry hit on the one thing Severus regretted most, that he could not give Harry everything he wanted. This guilt almost brought him to tears. 

 

      He quickly collected himself and went to his own room, sure that Harry had run into his bed and quickly passed out. Severus slowly changed into his night clothes, climbing into bed and feeling numb inside. 

 

      After a few minutes of laying there the door burst open, Harry launching himself into the bed and gripping Snape like he was afraid he would vanish. He felt horrible for feeling happy about this as Harry cried into his chest that he was sorry and that he didn’t want Snape to leave him. Begging for him to stay with Harry.

 

      Severus gripped the boy harder, running his fingers through wild black hair as he whispered, “Always.”

 

* * *

 

      Shortly after the tantrum fiasco, Snape went to the Headmaster’s office. Fawkes was standing on Dumbledore’s desk, picking at the beads that held the old wizard’s beard together. Dumbledore chuckled softly and pet the phoenix before acknowledging him. 

 

            “How are you doing Severus? I trust young Harry is well?” The man smiled, Snape knew that he loved Harry as well, considering him as his own grandchild, that is the only reason Snape thought this might work.

 

      “I am fine...Harry is…” Dumbledore was suddenly alert and Severus hated playing on his emotions like this, but he was sure that Dumbledore wouldn’t allow what he asked next any other way. “He has become extremely distraught and I worry for his emotional, mental, and developmental health.” Snape did truly worry about this and he was sure that to make sure Harry grew into a well developed person that this needed to happen.

 

      “What is wrong? Is there anything I can do?” Snape had never heard this level of stress in Dumbledore’s voice, yes, he was sure this would work.

 

      “He needs to be around children.” Severus had to power through here before he could be cut off. “I am worried that he will not properly learn to interact with others of his age and when he begins school it will be hard on him.”

 

      Dumbledore was frowning, he seemed to think for a minute and then relaxed. “He will be fine, you will be there if he needs anyone.”

 

      Snape had anticipated this, it was almost too easy. “I won’t always be there, I won’t be in all his classes, or the lunch tables, or the dorms.” Dumbledore seemed to agree with this but also didn’t seem to budge. Severus laid his last card on the table, “And how am I supposed to protect him and still be a spy if it is widely known that we are close?”

 

      There, that had to be it. Severus knew Dumbledore cared for Harry but he also saw Harry as a weapon against Voldemort when he finally returned and would be willing to sacrifice a happy childhood if he thought it would cut out even the smallest risk. 

 

      Dumbledore might have meant that as Snape’s original task but he knew Lily had not. And he did not want the kind of childhood he had to ever be comparable to Harry’s. Dumbledore soon saw the logic to it and agreed that it would probably be for the best and they set a meeting with Molly and Arthur since they were the obvious and best choice. Snape didn’t know much about the Weasleys, other than they would do anything to protect a child.

 

      After they had worked out a plan where Harry would be put under a small glamour to hide his scar, and just simply go by his first name (not that Harry ever used his last name anyways) and when the time was right they would tell the children the truth and just have to hope that everything worked out from there. 

 

      They set up their first play date on the quidditch pitch, just Harry and Ronald for the first meeting.

 

      Harry’s eyes shined like Lily’s, when she would learn something new about magic, the first time he met Ronald Weasley. After that the two were inseparable.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is long.

      Severus made a trip to Muggle London about two weeks from Harry’s sixth birthday. He had thought that the boy would at some point get over his obsession with Muggle toys and trinkets. But no, his interest had not waned. 

 

      He had waited literally until the last second to make this trip, hoping that he wouldn’t have to make it at all. Currently Severus was making his way to a small shop Dumbledore had told him about when he had asked for suggestions. How Dumbledore knew where to go for this Snape would never know, and he wasn’t sure he even cared to. 

 

      Nevertheless, here he was, outside of a brightly decorated shop with all sorts of things in the window he had never seen before. It dated him horribly. He had grown up in the Muggle world and he thought he knew what he would be looking for. But Snape had forgotten how unlike the wizarding world the Muggle world was, it was ever changing. How fast their products and technologies changed. 

 

      He pulled the door open and was immediately assaulted by the sticky, overly sweet scent that could only be recognized as distinctly child. There were kids screaming and parents trying to distract them with toys. Severus swore he would never allow Harry to turn into a brat like this. Nor could he imagine how any parent in the world would take their child to a toy shop. It seemed stupendously idiotic.

 

      Severus made his way to the check out. The cashier (a young man who looked about ready to obliviate himself) gave him the most judging look he had ever received. If Snape was any other person he might feel self-conscious in his cloaks, he hadn’t even tried fitting in, but he didn’t.

 

      “Can you direct me to the most popular children’s toys?” As soon as this came out of his mouth the young man scowled, sighed and then went to help Severus. After a few minutes Snape found himself with a small basket loaded with toys. Most of the items he had picked up had been around when he was a kid (though he had never had a chance to experience them): crayons, legos, play-doh, blowing bubbles. But things such as Mr. Potato Head, he knew nothing about. 

 

      After checking out, getting strange looks from everyone in the shop just for being there, Severus made his way to the nearest apparition point, bags in hand. After popping out of being and appearing on the edge of the wards he made his way up to the Headmaster’s office.

 

      “Did you enjoy your trip Severus?” Dumbledore seemed extremely pleased for some reason. Snape just rolled his eyes, set down his bags and took a seat. Harry was with Pomona today, sure to be returned to him every inch covered in dirt (‘ _ soil _ ’ Pomona’s voice corrected in his head).

 

      Dumbledore made them a cup of tea, teapot whistling unhappily, and reached into his desk for some assorted sweets. “It was fine.” That was all Snape could really say on the matter, he had done what he needed to make sure Harry’s sixth birthday was as good as it could be. They planned to have it at Hogwarts, all the teachers would be there and the whole Weasley clan too. 

 

      The party went as planned, Harry squealed at all his gifts (which he received too many of in Severus’ opinion but he didn’t say anything). He quickly changed into the jumper Molly had knit for him and gave her a giant hug that made the woman shed a few tears. Snape was now sure that building this friendship with the Weasleys had been the right thing to do. 

 

      After it was all said and done there were toys everywhere and a passed out Harry and Ronald on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms. Molly cooed at the two, Ginevra passed out on her shoulder, and her other boys tried to act like they weren’t all exhausted even though they seemed to rub their eyes and yawn simultaneously. It was strange that they all seemed in sync.  

 

      Arthur picked up Ronald, who seemed to cling to Harry before sighing and attaching himself to his father. Harry pulled a pillow into his chest hugging it hard to his body, completely dead to the world as everyone left. 

 

      Snape had found it strange to have so many people in their home, usually it was just the two of them, but after having so many people around their rooms felt too big, too empty. Severus sighed, picking up Harry, running his fingers through his wild hair and walking him to his bedroom. Harry was mumbling against Snape’s shoulder about something or other. 

 

      Once Harry was down, completely knocked out, and drooling everywhere, Snape went back to their living room to pick up all of the presents which had ended up everywhere. Before Severus could even flick his wand to clear up the mess he stepped on something. Unprepared, a yelp let itself from his mouth. Sharp pain shot up his foot and he quickly picked it up to see what horror he had stepped on.

 

      It was a tiny yellow block. Never again would the horrid Legos be found in their home. Severus swore on it.

 

* * *

 

      “-They come in every flavor, at least that was what Fred and George said…” Severus could hear Ronald’s excited voice coming from Harry’s room in barely contained whispers. The Weasleys had dropped Ronald off this morning for Harry’s first ever sleepover. 

 

      Severus had sent them to bed over an hour ago. At first the boys had been eerily silent, so much so that Severus had gone to stand by the bedroom door, ear pressed against the wood to see if the boys were okay. There was still nothing, so he pushed the door open and pretended just to check in on them.

 

      The two boys were obviously still awake, bodies too rigid and still. Chests not moving at all as they held their breath afraid it would give them away. Severus just smirked, closing the door almost all the way before going back to the drawing room to finish grading papers. After about another thirty minutes he started to hear it, a hushed giggle. 

 

      Snape sighed and continued to grade, at least he was already on his N.E.W.T. class, who were by far less migrane inducing than the rest. Severus might have stopped the boys but he remembered the magic of first tasting Bertie Bott’s Beans and thought that would be punishment enough for them not listening to him.

 

      It was only two minutes later when he heard Ronald screaming out and gagging about how gross it was. Apparently he had gotten liver. Severus chuckled going into the room and looking at them who both looked ridiculously guilty, faces red and eyes wandering. 

 

      “Go to sleep,” Severus commanded before getting back to work, trusting this time they would listen. All he heard for the rest of the night was a few indistinguishable whispered words followed by soft snoring.

 

* * *

 

      Harry had been sure Severus bought a Christmas present for everyone, including all nine Weasleys. The boy had bothered him for weeks about what he thought would be the perfect gift for everyone, most he understood but some made no sense to him. He understood that Ronald loved the Chudley Cannons and that was why Harry wanted to get him a jersey (even if orange looked horrid on the boy). But for the life in him he could not figure out why the boy had repeated over and over that a rubber duck was what Arthur Weasley wanted most.

 

      But after Harry’s persistent insistence Severus had retrieved all the gifts, including a scratching post for McGonagall. Snape knew he was in for a lecture to about that but it had been what Harry wanted for her, and really, it wasn’t so bad if they all got a smile out of it.

 

      A few weeks from Christmas Harry had demanded that he wanted to wrap all the gifts on his own. They were really a mess. But Harry didn’t seem to care, beaming down at them like they were the best thing in the world.

 

      On Christmas Eve Harry and Snape made their way around Hogwarts, giving everyone their gifts. Dumbledore loved his assorted sweets (Harry whispering something in his ear that made him laugh hardily before vigorously nodding). Hagrid cried after Harry gave him a pair of giant rabbits. Pomona had Harry help her use up her new fertilizer on a nice batch of Mandrakes. When Harry had told Snape what he wanted for Professor Sprout he had just said, “That smelly stuff that makes the plants grow.” Severus had picked out the smelliest fertilizer he could find, made with dragon dung. Madam Pomfrey had received boxes and boxes of plasters after Harry had learned about them from Charity who had, in return, received Play-doh.

 

      The biggest surprise was when McGonagall opened her gift she had a smile that spread from ear to ear. She had kneeled down hugging Harry so hard that the boy let out a little yelp. Severus was sure that it was less the gift she was happy about and more with the thought. 

 

      Harry once again, received too many gifts for Snape’s liking. He was always worried about what kind of adult Harry would become, if he would be spoilt, or cruel. Severus worried about it every waking second, and sometimes even in his dreams. 

 

      Luckily it seemed like Harry was growing up to be a caring, generous child, which Severus was beyond thankful for. Harry could have his moments but they were always quickly dealt with and he always seemed to learn his lesson.

 

      After all the presents were given, lunch was eaten, and Harry had his much needed nap, they then headed off to the Weasley’s. All the presents shrunken and stuffed into Harry’s pant pockets. 

 

      When they arrived through the floo the smell of cinnamon and pine filled the air. Harry was caught up in a rush of hugs before being set down, then running around with Ronald while Ginevra tried to catch up to them. Molly swept Snape into the kitchen where all the smells were coming from, quickly putting him to work at the cutting board. It was almost like potions. She chattered on, kids running in and out of the room grabbing food and then going back to playing. 

 

      It was strange. This much action going on, all the life and excitement. Severus took a breath, getting used to this feeling. 

 

      Dinner came quick, and they were all crowded around a too small table, knees and elbows touching. The food was delicious even if Bill and Charlie wouldn’t stop staring at him as if he was a dragon. Severus shot them a glare making them both blush and stare down at their food. At least he knew he hadn’t lost his touch.

 

      After they were stuffed to the gills, Molly seemingly knowing all their limits, they waddled into the living room before collapsing onto the furniture. Harry perched himself on Snape’s lap, looking almost comatosed. No one even complained that Molly had put on Celestina Warbeck’s Christmas album, her reedy voice warbling away.

 

      It was quiet and still for a while, only Molly moving as she knitted and hummed with a sleeping Ginevra on her shoulder. Severus admired her ability to be in control of everything. That she seemed to know the perfect moment to declare it was present time when everyone was recovered. It was almost as if she was a Legilimens. 

 

      Harry leaned towards Snape’s ear, spitting a little as he said, “You’re gonna fix the presents, right?” Severus simply nodded, Harry smiling before pulling out all the small presents. They were quickly sized up and floated around the tree. Molly and Arthur scolding them for all the presents but once Harry said, “But I wanted to get you all something!” 

 

      They both quieted down while both blushing harshly. Severus chuckled lowly at it. The Weasleys weren’t the type to want things from people, they’d rather give and it always made Snape glad these were the people Harry was growing up around.

 

      Ginevra opened a present first, picking out Harry’s horribly wrapped present. 

 

      When she opened it up and found a stack of chocolates she smiled at Harry like he was hung from the moon. But Harry was busy giving Ronald his present and didn’t notice her. Severus almost felt bad for her since Harry was always running after Ronald or one of the other boys. 

 

      Everyone loved their presents. Ronald ripping off his shirt and putting the jersey on. Arthur endlessly squeezing his rubber duck. The twins were playing with their  _ magic _ trick kit. And Molly started knitting with her new needles after hugging Harry so hard he face turned slightly blue.

 

      After all the presents were opened, new jumpers made by Molly for each of them, including Snape to his surprise. It was soft, black with a green  _ S _ . Snape didn’t say that he would never wear it to Molly. But he couldn’t help running his fingers over it while watching all the kids run around playing with their presents. 

 

      Ronald and Harry were running about, playing a game they seemed to have made up on the spot with Ginevra following behind them. Severus saw the moment clearly. Harry and Ronald standing under the doorway between the kitchen and living room talking about the rules of their made up game when Molly called out to them excitedly. “Oh! Look up darlings.” They both looked up to see a sprig of mistletoe. Out of nowhere Arthur pulled out a camera and kneeled in front of them. 

 

      Severus smiled against his will. Watching the boys like a hawk as Ronald explained to Harry, blushing the whole time, what this all meant. As soon as Harry understood he grabbed Ronald’s face and gave him a big wet kiss on the lips and then went right back to talking about rules without so much of a second thought. 

 

      Snape laughed, the noise bubbling uncontrollably from his chest, Bill and Charlie looked over at him both completely shocked. Ronald was gobsmacked. Fred and George had already blown something up (how they had done it Severus would never know since their present had been completely non-magical and mostly card tricks), Percy readily scolding them. Arthur and Molly were looking over the photo smiling from ear to ear and Ginevra was trying to convince Harry to give her a kiss too. He didn’t, he went right back to playing with Ronald.

 

      It all went just like Severus thought it would.

 

       When Snape decided it was time to leave Harry was passed out in his arms. Harry had gotten bigger, so much so he was starting to get too big for carrying comfortably, not that that would stop Severus from ever doing it. 

 

      They arrived back into their quarters, the Floo being temporarily open for the journey, Harry woke a little, enough to look around for a few seconds before nodding back off. The house elves had decorated the drawing room to the point where it almost blinded Snape, fairies twinkling around the room, dancing and giggling like soft little chimes. 

 

      Snape gently set Harry to bed, kissing the boy’s forehead before heading back out into the drawing room. He ate the biscuits and drank the milk Harry had left out for Saint Nicholas. The house elves had allowed Harry to go down to the kitchens to help make the biscuits. There was something that Snape couldn’t put his finger on that made these biscuits different from any he had had before, something that tasted almost like ozone. Severus set the biscuits down. Thinking on it for a while before giving up on it. 

 

      Severus made his way to his bedroom, opening the closet and digging through the pockets of one of his old cloaks. He pulled out a handful of shrunken presents, which he sized up and then floated until they were in front of the tree. It was covered, along with all the usual ornaments with handmade ornaments Harry had made over the years. 

 

      Snape gently touched the glass bobbles of Harry through the years, standing within them as the snow fell within. Dumbledore had given Severus one of these ornaments each year. Snape had never seen anything like it. The way the Harry within the glass orb would act exactly like Harry at the age depicted within. Within the youngest one an eighteen month old Harry would often sit sticking out his tongue at anyone who passed, or would gently pull on his toes. The one from last year, Harry was sitting within at the bottom of the orb, smiling from ear to ear with a glob of bright blue slime in his hand, every once and awhile holding it up to his mouth to blow a bubble into it. 

 

      Severus chuckled at it. Looking at the orbs for a few more minutes before finally making his way to bed, checking in on Harry one last time, he was fidgeting in his sleep and mumbling so quietly Snape couldn’t make out what he was saying.  He went to bed content, the day had been good, and it had made him realize how connected he had become since Harry had come into his life. That he was so intertwined with the lives of others and it had happened without him noticing. And he wasn’t sure he cared. 

 

      He fell asleep thinking about it all, only to wake up with a jolt, a knee digging into his chest as Harry squealed above him. “Dad! Daddy! Get up it’s Christmas!”

 

      Severus moaned, tossing the boy to the other side of the bed where he landed with a giggle. “You insufferable brat,” he mumbled into his pillows before crawling out of bed, Harry tugging at his arm the whole way until they were finally in the drawing room.

 

      The house elves had already set breakfast on the coffee table, pastries, and fruit and even a bowl full of their favorite ice creams. Severus picked up a cup of tea, and put a little bit of clotted cream onto his treacle tart. He hadn’t even realized Harry had been trying to get his attention until the boy had crawled into his lap with a scowl on his face. 

 

      “Dad,” Harry said in the most serious tone Severus had ever heard. 

 

      Severus rose a single eyebrow, wondering if he should allow Harry to be a brat just for today. But he decided the boy would regret it later if he didn’t just have breakfast now. “Food first.”

 

      Harry’s frown deepened, but he did as Snape said without a fight, knowing his tone meant business. Harry, in protest, ate the whole bowl of ice cream and Severus didn’t even try to stop him. Really Harry had no control when it came to mint chocolate chip ice cream anyways. 

 

      The boy drank a cup of tea to warm himself up after the cold ice cream, all the while sneaking glances over at Snape to see if he was finally finished and it was present time. Snape finally sighed, taking the last sip of his tea before saying, “Fine, go open your presents.” 

 

      The boy jumped up off the couch, rushing for the tree, it was the first time Severus had looked at it. There were way more presents there than there had been the night before. And even though Snape was sure that it had been the house elves who delivered the packages he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with it. Wasn’t sure that he liked the fact they came in uninvited and could have delivered anything from anywhere. 

 

      “Harry wait!” Severus rushed to say, the boy stopping mid-bound, turning to Snape with a look of utter bewilderment on his face. It turned into a frown once Snape got up from the couch, assessing all the presents with every step he took. 

 

      Logically Severus knew that they was no way any of the presents were cursed. All the elves at Hogwarts were completely loyal and knew to check over everything that entered the castle (a precaution that Dumbledore had put into place). However when it came to Harry he had realized more and more that he couldn’t be logical. He was completely incoherent when it came to his son. Especially, now when there had been whispers of the few remaining Death Eaters gathering again. 

 

      Harry was pouting at his side but watching in wonder as Severus inspected each present, the glowing light at the end of his wand remaining a forest green. Snape did spell after spell, everything seeming fine. Harry was getting more and more upset, tugging anxiously at Snape’s nightgown. 

 

      Snape sighed, finally giving in and allowing Harry to continue. The boy let out a incredibly unbearable little huff. Severus wanted to discipline him, and he normally would but it was Christmas, and Snape remembered how it had always been as he was a child, he didn't want to ruin this day for Harry. That didn’t mean, by any means, that Snape would not address this issue later. 

 

      Harry went for a present that was sitting towards the back of the pile, instead of automatically going for one of the large presents at the very front. It was wrapped in a starry paper, comets whizzing around. Harry also grabbed a large envelope that was covered in hundreds of glittery stickers. 

 

      He walked up to the couch, where Snape was now relaxed, blush high on his cheeks. “This is for you,” He said shyly. All of Severus irritability he had felt moments ago about Harry’s attitude dissipated. The fact that Harry thought of him before himself was astonishing. 

 

      Severus took the two packages, “Which should I open first?” 

 

      Harry shrugged, head tilting a little before pointing at the box. Snape gently unwrapped it, shooting stars shooting past his fingertips. Inside there was a an Ebony box, wood smooth with golden embellishments around the edges. Harry jumped into the seat next to him, bouncing and looking expectedly down at the box, his little elbow digging into Severus side as he tried to get a better look. 

 

      “I hope it is the right one daddy.” Harry was blushing again. And Snape couldn’t imagine what was hidden in this box that Harry had thought he wanted. Severus hardly ever said he needed anything let alone wanted anything. To say he was a bit confused would be an understatement. 

 

      Despite this he continued on, opening the lid only to find a golden orb within. It had inscriptions in Latin all around it. Severus  immediately knew what it was but he couldn’t quite believe it. 

 

      There had been a full issue of Potion’s Monthly about the new developments in Astrological Orbs. It had been fascinating and Severus had read the article multiple times, he had been absorbed, they were now a viable instrument worth the money. 

 

      Normally, Severus would have to spend months at a time studying the planetary movements and alignment of the stars before even beginning work on a new potion or improvements. Potions, especially more advanced potions, could be affected greatly by astrological movements. It affected everything from color, to potency, to toxicity. 

 

      And though it was something he only ever lightly touched on during the first six years in school it was something Severus planned his whole teaching schedule around. 

 

      What had been so great about the Astrological Orb was that it was invented by a Husband-Wife team where one was an Astrologist and the other was a Potions Master. They knew their fields, and had made the Orbs to perfectly help both fields. It allowed the user to see the planetary movements months in advance and to see it in relation to anything a Potion Master or Astrologist would need.

 

      Severus was completely shocked, that Harry had even noticed this was something that Snape had wanted. This would exponentially speed up his potions making and creation. 

 

      Harry’s elbow was still digging into Snape’s side, “Is that the right one?” 

 

      “Of course! It’s perfect,” Severus said completely aghast. 

 

      Harry smiled from ear to ear, pouncing and then wrapping his arms around Snape’s neck. Severus grabbed onto the boy, holding him tight, and whispering a thanks into his hair. They sat for a while, comfortably holding each other and letting the fireplace warm them. 

 

      Harry seemed to suddenly pop-up, shoving the large envelope at Snape, blushing again. Severus would almost be worried that Harry was sick if he didn’t know the boy was always seeking approval. That he seemed to worry that people would be disappointed in him. Severus had tried so hard to instil within Harry a confidence Snape had wished he had in school but the boy seemed to overthink everything. Snape worried that it was his fault Harry was so insecure.

 

      Severus put it out of his mind for a moment, focusing on the envelope now in his hands, carefully opening making sure he didn’t bend whatever was inside. He pulled out a small stack of paper, bound together in ribbon. It was a handmade booklet, cover scribbled full of color with a picture of himself and Harry hugging, it was titled, “ _ Why I Love my Dad.” _

 

      Severus smiled, the drawing version of him doing the same in long black robes and black hair curtaining his face and his nose sticking out largely. It didn’t bother him in the least, Harry wasn’t doing it to make fun of him but rather out of love. Harry had drawn himself with a wild mess of scribbles for hair and a pink scar webbing around his forehead. 

 

      He opened up reading page and page of Harry’s feelings about him. 

 

_       My dad is really smart. _

_       My dad is really nice. _

_       My dad is really brave.  _

_       My dad reads me bedtime stories. _

_       My dad lets me sleep with him when I am scared. _

_       My dad makes the bad dreams go away with his snores. _

_       My dad always helps me when I am confused. _

_       My dad feeds me when I don’t feel good. _

_       My dad makes the best tea. _

_       My dad sometimes lets me stay up late. _

_       My dad makes pillow forts and sleeps in them with me. _

_       My dad is a good pillow. _

_       My dad always keeps my drawings.  _

_       My dad takes me out to look at the flowers. _

_       My dad helps me make flower hats. _

_       My dad lets me take lots of bubble baths. _

_       My dad brushes my hair every day.  _

_       My dad plays the princess when I am a dragon. _

_       My dad is the best dad ever. _

_       I want to be just like my dad when I grow up! _

 

      The pages were filled with pressed flowers, random things Harry had seen fit to glue into it, scribbled out scenes, and little hand prints. It was wonderful and perfect, and Severus grabbed for the boy, pulling him into his lap, holding him tight against his chest and running his fingers through wild hair. 

 

      Snape kissed Harry on the forehead, holding Harry to him longer than needed, taking in the scent of the boy. He smelt like cinnamon, ozone, and mint chocolate chip ice cream. It was perfect, like home and safety. 

 

      Harry started wiggling to get out of Snape’s grip, and Snape let him go, pushing the boy towards the Christmas tree. “Go open your presents, brat,” Severus couldn’t keep the fondness out of his voice, Harry rushed to the tree, finally opening his presents. 

 

      Nothing else that day made him as happy as the book, he kept it at his side and when Harry was finally off to bed, Snape read it again. Focusing on each word, and each picture, and taking it all in. 

  
      Severus read it once more, before placing it onto his bedside table, before laying down and reciting the misspelled words over and over until he finally fell asleep, smile on his face.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was a little late.

      More than once Severus found himself comparing Harry to a flying monkey. And while he was way bigger and didn’t have wings, that didn’t mean the boy wasn’t acting like one. Harry had fully discovered the joys of climbing, and jumping off of furniture. And honestly, Severus was glad it hadn’t happened earlier on. 

 

      There had been more than one time where Severus had to heal bruises on Ronald when the boy slept over since he liked to try and climb on everything and this seemed to have finally rubbed off on Harry. 

 

      Currently Harry liked to jump onto the back of the couch and launch himself at Severus as he passed by. Snape had more than once dropped whatever was in his hands to catch the boy. And while he had also tried to discipline Harry on this issue no punishment seemed to sink in. 

 

      Snape understood it though, even if he didn’t like it. Harry was cursed to stay indoors, not even their little garden did the job. Severus himself at times felt stir crazy and he could only imagine how hard it was for Harry who was barely allowed to leave their quarters.

 

      So if Severus went a little easy on the boy no one could really blame him, he just hoped that this wouldn’t affect Harry in a negative way. Hoped that this small indulgence wouldn’t ruin the boy. 

 

      At the moment though, Harry was luckily too consumed in his birthday to be hanging from the furniture. He and Ronald were currently watching Charlie turn teacups into exotic birds, and now there were a half a dozen different colorful birds flapping and squawking about the room, perching on every surface. 

 

      Severus flicked his wand and turned the birds back into teacups and floated them over so that they could be used. Molly poured the tea as if second nature as she scolded Fred and George for having pulled at one of the bird’s tail feathers. 

 

      Arthur was asking Snape to explain different muggle objects, since he had recently found out that Severus grew up in a non-magical household (something he had kept from the man for this very reason). So Snape guided the man over to one of the nearest bookcases to show him an old book he had gotten from professor Burbage for Harry to look through. It was the  _ “Wizarding Guide to No-Maj,”  _ and since the wizards in America lived in closer contact with the non-magical population than those in Britain they had better literature on the subject. This copy was a little out of date but it shocked Arthur nonetheless.

 

      One thing Snape always found odd about the Wizarding world was how isolated wizards seemed to think they were. Arthur, despite working for the Ministry of Magic likely never thought about the fact that there were wizards from all over the world that he could learn from. 

 

      It was something Severus hadn’t understood himself until he had left Hogwarts. There was a whole world of potions he had never been introduced to because no one had ever thought to mention there were things to learn from Wizarding communities outside of the United Kingdom. 

 

      Severus had spent months researching where all his potion ingredients came from to be shocked that he was missing out on a whole world of potions and ingredients. He had then (under the Dark Lord after telling him all about this revelation) gone and searched the world, picking information up like wildflowers. With every new place he went, potion’s master he met, and book he read his own potions became more refined and potent. He had cut the brewing time on all the basic potions down by half.

 

      Severus was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the scream of, “Look, Ron I can fly!” Before Harry was launching himself from the back of the couch straight at Severus. Harry was too far from Snape to make the jump and Harry could already see him starting to fall. Before he could pull his wand out to catch the boy Harry was already floating back up towards him. 

 

      Snape grabbed onto Harry, the boy giggling nonstop and Ronald whispering in the background in amazement, obviously not having seen what had happened. Severus turned to see that Arthur had his wand out, lightly held in his hand while flipping through the book not even seeming to realize what he had just done. Severus hadn’t even heard him utter a spell. 

 

      Severus then fully realized why the Weasleys had been one of the only options to take care of Harry. Both Molly and Arthur lived and breathed for their children. Every move they made was for the betterment of their children and it came to them as naturally as breathing. Snape looked back on everything he had seen them do. How easily they broke up squabbling and how easy they handled their children. Severus could not stop thinking of this even as they left for the night. Molly carrying both Ronald and Ginevra on her hips and taking them through the Floo and Arthur staying behind to guide his sons through. 

 

      That was how a family was supposed to be. 

 

      Tight and working as one smooth machine. Not how he and Harry were. 

 

      Sure, Severus tried his hardest. And put his all into raising Harry. But it would never come as easy to him as it did to Molly and Arthur. There would always be bolts missing in their machine. Stick stuck in the clogs. Things blocking them.

 

      Part of it was his own fault, as much as he wanted to he could not give his all to Harry. He could not be open and honest and without reserve. He would always have to think about his role as a spy. He would always have to worry about what Harry’s future held. Severus would always have to worry about getting too close to the boy in public. All this tightened something within his chest. 

 

      Severus put the boy to bed. Heading to his potions lab needing to work out his frustration.

 

* * *

 

      Severus stopped dead in his tracks on his way to the kitchen. 

 

      Harry and Ronald were sitting in front of the radio, decked out in their Chudley Cannons gear. Ronald was sitting so close to the radio that his face was almost touching it while Harry was resting back a little. The thing that had stopped Severus was the fact that Harry with one hand was picking his nose while the other was stuck down his trousers. It clearly wasn’t moving, just holding himself in his hand with his mind wandering off to the Quidditch pitch. 

 

      There were times when Harry seemed to go off into his own world and started playing with one of his body parts without noticing. Like how he would pull on his earlobe when Snape’s potions discussion started to drag on too long for him. Or how he would pull on his toes while Snape read to him. And Snape always knew when Harry was truly nervous because he would pull on the skin of his elbow. 

 

      Severus hadn’t even fully realized those things until this moment but now that he saw it, he knew something had to be done about it. 

 

      Snape waited until the next day when Ronald had returned to the Burrow to speak to Harry about this issue. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, and Snape was honestly more concerned about the nose picking but he knew that if unchecked the body grabbing could lead to future embarrassment. Harry was sitting at the table watching as Severus paced trying to find the right words to say. He stopped his pacing, turning and staring down at the boy. Harry had gone all wide-eyed in his anticipation. 

 

      “Now that you are getting older there are somethings you need to know about the world,” Snape took in a deep breath and sat down on the wooden dining chair across from Harry. “There are certain things you shouldn’t do in front of others. Do you understand what i am saying?”

 

      Harry’s eyes squinted up but after a few seconds he nodded hesitantly. It was then obvious to Snape that he did in fact not understand what he was trying to say. Severus sighed, realizing there was no beating around the bush with this and continued on.

 

      “You can’t touch your penis in public, the only time it is acceptable is when you are using the toilet.” Snape finally got out, and he could feel the slight flush on his cheeks. If he was this embarrassed now he could only imagine how horrible it would be to have the birds and the bees talk later on. 

 

      Harry tilted his head momentarily. “Okay. Can we have lunch now dad?” 

 

      All the pressure and nervousness Snape had felt dissipated suddenly with Harry’s casual words. It felt as if a weight was suddenly lifted from his shoulders. Severus couldn’t help the small smirk that graced his face as he stood up, ruffling Harry’s hair as he passed by, and went to order food from the house elves. 

 

      He suddenly thought himself silly, of course there had been no reason to worry. Harry always took everything he said in stride. It was truly a pleasure to raise such a well adjusted child. And more so to know that he was the one who had molded Harry into this. 

 

      Severus looked over the boy with pride, like how he would look at a newly developed potion. 

 

* * *

 

      Harry took to a broom like a fish to water. 

 

      Harry’s favorite time of year had always been Quidditch season. Severus wasn’t sure if the boy understood how the game was played or if he just liked watching the people flying around on brooms, but Snape was pretty sure it was the latter. 

 

      Madam Hooch was one of the teachers who lived at Hogwarts over the summer and when Severus had approached her about Harry learning to fly she had just said, “Of course. The boy will be a natural, I can always tell.” 

 

      She had been right. 

 

      The look on Harry’s face when he had seen his training broom was priceless. Harry thought it was the best birthday present he had ever received. Severus got a photo of it and it wasn’t until Harry had mounted the broom that the feeling of worry hit him.  _ What if he fell? What if he broke something? What if he cracked open his head?  _

 

      It all came in as a rush of thought that Severus quickly swatted away. This was a training broom he told himself, it only goes so high. He had casted a cushioning charm on the ground and both he and Madam Hooch could catch him easily if he fell. It was going to be okay. 

 

      And it was. Harry was flying parallel to the ground, racing to and fro. Every once and awhile he would race up to Severus, almost crashing into him, laugh and then race off. So many photos were taken and when Harry finally jumped down from his broom, arms and legs sore, they had lunch out on the Quidditch pitch. 

 

      After all the food was gone Harry was back on his broom, testing the limits of how high and how fast he could go. Snape was less worried now that he had seen how Harry handled himself. Even as Harry started to dive about he knew it would be okay.

 

      Madam Hooch stood next to him, going on about how Harry was a natural and how excited she was to see him once he joined a house team. Severus agreed and realized he would have to be careful about how he acted in front of other people once Harry got into school. They would no longer be father and son at that point. They would be teacher and student. Severus wasn’t sure how he would do that. 

 

      There had been a time, it felt so long ago, when Snape would have had no problem with this. When his emotions were hardened so they could never be used against him. But he could look back to how he acted seven years ago and it was almost an unrecognizable change. 

 

      If somebody had asked the first years Severus had taught when Harry had first come into his life what they thought of Snape it would be a completely different from what they would say as seventh years. Harry had softened him. Raising a child, teaching a child, dealing with tantrums and nightmares. It made him look at his student’s differently. Severus still didn’t tolerate weakness and stupidity but he tried harder to help his students. Even if the way he did it was a little harsh at times. 

 

      Harry broke him out of his thoughts, accidentally crashing into Severus at full speed. They tumbled to the ground, Harry laughing and Snape trying so hard to catch his breath. 

  
      He knew his ribs would be bruised but it didn’t really matter. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are close to the end guys, I hope you have enjoyed the ride!

      Dumbledore had been busy the day of Harry’s eighth birthday and was not able to make the party. There had been a huge trial going on at the Ministry and Dumbledore had needed to be there, the older wizard had been sure to visit Harry and say, “Happy birthday,” before leaving. 

 

      Harry hadn’t held it against him but Severus had seen how much he had missed the man he considered a grandfather. Snape made sure to reassure Harry that once Dumbledore was done they would go have a picnic. 

 

      That came three days later, it was a sunny summer afternoon, grass kissed with dew and food all around. Harry was racing about by the edge of the lake, waving every time the giant squid, which Harry had named Owen, peaked above the edge of the water. Everything was perfect. 

 

      That was until Harry sat down close to their blanket and started hissing. Severus jumped up, running to the boy, automatically worried that something was wrong, that he was cursed. Severus snatched the boy up grabbing him close and looking around for the threat. 

 

      What Snape found was a small Adder snake, bathing in the sun. He was completely dumbfounded about what was going on. The snake hissed and Harry turned, struggling to get out of Severus grasp, and hissed at it again. It sounded alien, and ominous. And he finally understood why this had sent off automatic alarm bells. 

 

      He had heard this before. Years ago, from a time he wished he could forget. 

 

      To hear this, thing, that Severus had always associated with pure evil come out of his son’s mouth. 

 

      Snape held Harry up, staring into his eyes and seeing for the first time what this boy could be. To suddenly understand the powers that Harry could have. That he could use. For the first time ever he didn’t see Lily in Harry’s eyes, all he saw was darkness. 

 

      For a split second a horrible thought rushed through Severus’ mind.  _ Kill him now, before he becomes a monster.  _ It scared Severus more than he ever thought he could feel. Not just the possibility of what Harry might be but also what he might have to do. 

 

      Severus knew he would never be able to do it. That he would follow Harry to Hell and back.

 

      They continued to stare at each other, Harry confused and a little scared, all of Severus emotions must have shown on his face. Snape couldn’t imagine what was showing that scared the child but he hoped it wasn’t the thought of murder. He hope to all things it wasn’t that. 

 

      Dumbledore broke this staring match. Humming in thought, stroking at his beard before he let out a little, “Curious.” Thinking for a second and then smiling. Severus was confused. He couldn’t understand how Dumbledore didn’t see what he did. He had thought Dumbledore would realize it more than him. That the man would strike Harry down right then and there. That he would not let another Dark Lord exist. And unlike Severus he would not be bogged down by these feelings of affection and love. 

 

      What Dumbledore said next was an even bigger surprise. “All is well Severus, snakes make the fiercest of friends.” The older man winked as if knowing all of Severus’ thoughts and knowing just what to say to make him relax. 

 

      Despite this assurance Severus couldn’t stop the rolling of his nerves. 

 

* * *

 

      Severus found, as Harry got older, that his magic grew more wild than ever expected. Harry’s accidental magic seemed to fly out of him with each moment, mostly coming out in little bursts. And it had happened more than once that the boy had been next to Severus as he was brewing a delicate potion (all the while teaching Harry what he could and the boy taking it in like a sponge) and the waves of magic coming off the boy had disrupted the potion and almost making them unsavable. 

 

      Luckily, Snape had acted fast and saved it. Severus had asked the boy to step back a bit but after a few minutes of Harry standing on his tippy toes trying to get a look into the cauldron Harry fell over, magic spreading around him and cushioning his fall. With this a gust of wind blew up Severus robes and they landed in the pot. 

 

      Snape rushed to remove them as the potion started to soak into the cloth which then started to disintegrate the material. With a flick of his wand Severus banished the potion. And scooped Harry off the floor. The boy’s lip was wobbling and his eyes were glassy. There was a big red spot on the boy’s chin where it had hit the floor, and he was lucky that that was all with how hard he had fallen. Tears started to trickle down Harry’s face and Severus could feel a meltdown coming on. 

 

      Severus sat the boy up on the now empty workbench, quickly walking over to his potions cabinet and pulling out a bruise paste that had a little bit of numbing agent in it. He made his way back over to table and pulled the boy into a quick hug before kissing his forehead and then rubbing the paste onto the boy’s chin.

 

      Harry giggled at the tingling sensation and seemed to forget the pain he had been in. Snape knew his tears had been more from shock than anything else. They then continued making potions, this time working on less temperamental ones. Harry knew all these potions by heart and could easily make them by himself but Snape liked to watch over the boy and they always bonded over potions making. 

 

      While they did this Severus was planning on a way to fix this mess. Harry’s magic was growing faster than his body and bursting out of its container looking for more room. Normally a child’s magic grew with them and by usually had steadied after they were two or three. But when it came to Harry it seemed the older he got the more unsteady his magic grew, and the only thing for it was to have the boy start practicing magic so that he could learn to gain control over it.

 

      Once Harry was asleep for the night Snape made his way to Dumbledore’s office. They sat and talked over tea about Harry needing a practice wand. Luckily, the Ollivanders’ Branch within the village carried just such wands. 

 

      The next day, Harry happily with Minerva for the morning, Severus headed into the village to get the wand. The wand was thin and pretty short and made from Balsa wood with a hollow core lined with pixie dust. It was magical enough to help focus a child’s magic but unlike other wands, pixie lined wands dulled magic, making sure that the caster could never caste anything lethal or dangerous. 

 

      It was also the best way to teach a child how to focus their magic. While it was great for most children since focus helped magnify their magic once they moved onto a real wand, for Harry it might help him learn to keep his magic within his body. 

 

      Ollivander’s nephew Gareth was sitting behind the counter, flipping through the Gladrags Mag scowling at whatever crazy designs were inside. The man flipped to the next page before setting it down and looking up at Snape. 

 

      “Hello, welcome to Ollivanders, how can I help you?” The man’s voice cracked towards the end as if he barely had occasion to use it. 

 

      Severus stepped closer, a set of bells tinkling overhead as the door closed behind him. “I need to pick up a practice wand for my son.” Snape smiled at the thought, he didn’t often call Harry his son out loud. It sent a thrill through him. To be a parent and to not have to hide it, to not have people know it wasn’t true. 

 

      The man of course didn’t care, and he strode to a shelve over in the corner, pulling out a thin short box before opening it and revealing it to Snape. It was short, thin, and light in color. It was plain with no decoration (since children were liable to break them). 

 

      Severus picked up for a moment before putting it down quickly as he could feel his magic start to try to splinter through the wand. Snape paid the man and headed into the Hog’s Head to meet with a man about a snake. 

 

* * *

 

      As the students left the school again the next year Harry grew impatient to go outside. Dumbledore had made a room connected to theirs that was a small garden so that Harry could play outside while the school year was going. The room emulated what was outside of the castle, when it snowed in December it snowed in their gardens. Even though it was nice and worked for what was needed it wasn’t the same as being actually outside with unlimited space to run. 

 

      So the moment the students left the school Harry had run outside ready to play in the grass. Harry flopped down, rolling around until he was covered in grass stains. Severus sighed but knew clothes were easily cleaned and that all the grass stains in the world didn’t matter compared to Harry’s smile.

 

      Every day after the end of term Severus and Harry were out on the grounds. Severus normally reading or working on notes while Harry, ran, rolled, and flew around. 

 

      One day Severus looked out at the lake and something hit him. He realized that Harry had never been swimming and probably didn’t even know it was something people did. While it wasn’t something Snape enjoyed himself he felt a little bad for not giving Harry the chance to try. 

 

      The next day Severus left Harry with McGonagall so that he could pick out some bathing suits. Diagon Alley was busy but not packed and Snape easily made his way to Fladberry’s Casual Clothing and Accessories, which was nearly empty. The young witch watching over the shop greeted him and directed him to the section he needed. Severus picked out a pair of swimming shorts he thought Harry would like, red, which was still his favorite color. Snape had long gotten used to it. 

 

Snape had made it back up to the front of the shop before he realized that he also had to have a bathing suit. He sighed and headed back to the swimwear section. Almost everything was extremely bright and not to Severus’ taste at all. He flipped through the rack until he found something that would work. There was really only one thing Severus liked, he was pretty sure the suit was fashioned after 1915’s muggle swimsuits. He did like that it could cover his torso but the fact that it was black was what really drew his eye. 

 

      Finally he checked out and headed back home. 

 

      When Severus first showed Harry what he had gotten, the boy did not really understand what they were for but when Severus explained Harry automatically lit up like a lightbulb. Harry demanded they go out right now to do it. It was getting close to four in the afternoon already but Harry didn’t care. They changed and then rushed out to the lake. Harry pulling Severus by his hand to go faster. 

 

      It suddenly hit Snape how much Harry had grown. The boy was already up to Severus’ waist and he wasn’t sure why it hit him now but it did. Harry was growing up, he would soon be entering Hogwarts and after that on his own with a family. 

 

      Severus knew he would long for these days. Of simple childhood memories and easy smiles. 

 

      They walked into the water, Harry holding Severus’ hand tightly and laughing as the water lapped his knees. Harry’s swim trunks ballooned as they got deeper into the water making Severus snicker. As the water got higher Harry started to hesitate but Snape knew the easiest way to learn was just to get into the deep end. 

 

      “Don’t worry, just trust me and keep walking.” Severus grabbed Harry’s other hand so that they were facing each other, slowly backing farther and farther into the water. 

 

      Harry nodded, seeming to reassure himself. “Okay dad.”

 

      Harry struggled as his feet stopped being able to touch the sand but Snape held him up till he was floating. From there Severus taught Harry how to float on his back which took a handful of tries to get right before Snape could let go. At first when he tried to let go Harry had freaked out. But he got the hang of it and knew that Severus would be there to catch him if he started to go under. The next thing was pulling Harry by his arms and getting the boy to kick. 

 

      Severus thought that was enough for the day since it was starting to get late so they headed back to the shoreline. Little tadpoles swimming around their feet before they got back to the shore. 

  
Harry slept like a log that night.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second to last chapter! The next chapter will probably be in two weeks since my family is really big on Thanksgiving and I doubt i will be out of the food coma by Sunday. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this!

      Honestly, this moment was what Severus had been dreading most. When Harry was finally old enough to understand who he was and what had happened to his parents. Snape had been quiet through the whole day and Harry had noticed. The boy was getting more perceptive as the days went by, he could read expressions easier and understood people better. He was also extremely empathetic. 

 

      There had been times where someone would be caught in the memory of the war and Harry always seemed to know what to say to help them through it. Severus had been sure to gently start Harry’s education about the war so when this moment came he might better understand the context of their world. 

 

      Despite all this Snape still thought nine was far too young for this burden. 

 

      Unfortunately, Severus was pretty sure if he waited any longer this would be harder. And that nine was the age where Harry could understand and start learning. This wasn’t something Snape wanted to do, he wanted to spare Harry from this but he knew if he didn’t tell the child now at least when the worst happened he wouldn’t be unprepared. And that was the worst. Being unprepared could lead to death. Severus could never let that happen. 

 

      They sat down in the living room, Snape thinking that they needed to be on neutral territory for this discussion. This would be hard and Severus didn’t want this to scar the boy anymore than it already had. 

 

      Severus started this horrible conversation in the only way he knew how, “Harry, we need to talk about...some things.” Harry nodded, waiting for Snape to gather his thoughts and continue on. “You do know that I am not your real father correct?” He didn’t know a more tactful way to put it, but it had to be said to have a place to start. Harry looked sad for a second but nodded again.

 

      “There is something...you need to know. About your parents-” 

 

      Harry stopped him mid-sentence, “You never talk about them, why?” 

 

      This was not a question Snape had expected so it threw him off guard. There were so many answers;  _ I was in love with your mother. I hated your father. Your parents hated me. I was a horrible person. I didn’t want to tell you they were murdered. I didn’t want to tell you about Voldemort. It hurts.  _

 

      “I did not know them well,” This was true, in part. What Severus knew of them was from when they were young or from the tidbits he had picked up after others talked to them. “If you want to know more about them you’d need to speak to Dumbledore.”

 

      “Why did they chose you if they didn’t know you?” Harry looked so confused and Snape wished these weren’t questions he had to answer, that the boy wouldn’t be so inquisitive even if he considered it to be a good trait. 

 

      “I was the only person who could take care of you after what happened. Understand that I love you and you are my son in all the ways that matter.”  Severus knew he didn’t say this enough, most of the time he didn’t even think to say it. He just always assumed Harry knew, maybe the boy didn’t...maybe they weren’t as close as Snape had always thought they were. Maybe it was his fault. 

 

      All these thoughts fell away with Harry’s quiet, “I love you too dad…” It was an automatic weight lifted off of Severus shoulders but he soon remembered what this conversation was supposed to be about. 

 

      “Why were you the only one?” Harry asked, inquisitive as always. These questions were harder than what Snape had planned for.

 

      Severus took in a deep breath before replying, grabbing Harry’s hands so that he didn’t feel like Harry might slip away. “Your parents were…” Snape wanted to choose his words carefully but he also knew that Harry would have to know everything about the situation to protect himself. “...murdered. By a very bad man.”

 

      “Did they do something bad?” Harry’s bottom lip was quivering at the thought that his parents might have done something to deserve death. Snape had never even thought that the boy might think something like this. 

 

      After his initial shock Severus was quick to grab the boy up into his arms, pressing Harry into his chest and shushing him as he began to cry. “No...no they were great people, who gave their lives to help save many people...including you.” Harry continued to cry and Snape did all he could do to sooth him. This was too much for any child to deal with. But it was too late to go back now.

 

      Once Harry calmed down, Snape wiped the snot from Harry’s nose. “So I have no family?” Severus knew this wasn’t that Harry was longing for them but more that he needed to know if he had any family left. Severus could never fill this void no matter how much he tried. 

 

      “You are the last of the Potters.”

 

      “And my mother?” Harry was looking up at Severus with those eyes that were oh so Lilly Evans. 

 

      “You have a muggle aunt, her husband, and their son…” Snape wasn’t sure what to say about them since all he knew was that they had refused to take Harry in after Lily and James died. “They…refused to take care of you. Your aunt never approved of magic and hated your mother for it.”

 

      Harry’s eyes were all wide and glassy, “Why would anyone hate magic?”

 

      It was a hard question to answer. If Muggles knew about magic but only knew wizards and witches like Voldemort and Bellatrix, Snape could understand why they would hate it. Petunia’s (Snape still remembered her name) problem had been something else. 

 

      “I believe, and I haven’t seen her since we were your age so I could be wrong, that your aunt felt lonely and betrayed. She also never understood magic. And the things people fear the most are the things that are unknown to them.” Harry nodded seeming to understand but Snape was pretty sure this was one of life’s lessons that one had to learn personally. 

 

      “Can I meet them?” Severus wanted to say no, that they were rotten and would only weigh Harry down. But they were also his family and the boy deserved to at least make up his mind on whether or not to see them.

 

      “I can’t promise they will be willing to meet, all I can promise is that we can try.” Snape hated having to say these horribly unfair thing to a nine year old boy who had done nothing wrong to deserve this. Any of this. “But know this, if they don’t want to know you they don’t deserve to because you are wonderful.”

 

      Harry nodded, wiping at his red swollen eyes again. “Who was the man...the one who mur-killed them?”

 

      Harry needed to know. So Severus told him everything he thought the boy could handle in this state. He told him about the war, more than ever before. About all the death. About the prophecy (against Dumbledore’s wishes). Severus told him about the night his world changed. 

 

      And lastly Severus told Harry how when Harry was first brought to Hogwarts, dwarfed in the arms of Hagrid, how Severus knew at that moment that his whole world had changed and that he would have given anything, including his own life, to keep that small child safe. 

 

      Harry cried a few times, not understanding fully why Voldemort would do such horrendous things. It was something Snape hoped Harry would never truly understand. Didn’t want him to be tainted by such hatred. 

 

      It had gotten late and neither of them felt much like eating dinner so they headed to bed, Harry almost begging to stay by Snape side. Severus held him close, running his fingers through wild hair. It had been a long day. 

 

      “I promise, I will never let anyone hurt you.” Severus whispered, he just hoped he could keep this promise.

 

* * *

 

      One of the things Snape enjoyed most about having Ronald over to play with Harry was first the smile it always brought to his son’s face. It was always wide, beaming and full of teeth. The second thing was watching how their friendship developed as they grew more into their personalities. 

 

      However, lately the boys had become argumentative. One minute they would be racing around the room and the next they would be glaring at each other at a level that only Snape thought he could pull. It had happened three times already where Ronald had to go home early when Snape could not sort out the problem and thought the boys needed sometime to themselves. But it never failed that on the next visit they would be thick as thieves again. 

 

      These arguments however came to a head on a drizzly Wednesday afternoon. They had just finished lunch and Ronald and Harry were coloring at the coffee table with the WWN playing soft music in the background. 

 

      Severus had asked the boys for a little quiet time so he could get some work done on his class schedule for the upcoming year. It wasn’t something he had to do much on since the same potions where a requirement every year. It was more planning all his potion ingredients deliveries and N.E.W.T. class. He had also talked to Molly about keeping an eye on the twins for her since it would be their first year.

 

      He was lost in thought, thinking about what to do with the terrible twosome when angry whispering started.

 

      “-you don’t have to be around seven people all the time. Seven Harry.”

 

      Harry huffed, glaring down at his drawing of Wissey, his favorite House Elf. “You wouldn’t understand, you get to go out and do stuff and meet people.”

 

      Ronald went red in his anger and Severus could see from here that this was going to be one of those days where he had to go home early. But he hoped against hope and let them continue on. “You have money and can buy whatever you want. You don’t have to share all your stuff with other people!”

 

      Harry gave the boy across from him what Snape could only classify as a murderous stare. Before hissing out, “Well at least your family wasn’t killed by Voldemort!” before standing up so abruptly that his tin of colored pencils spilled onto the floor before stomping off to his bedroom and slamming the door shut.  Severus could also hear the faint click of a locking charm. 

 

      Ronald was sitting on the floor with his mouth agape and the blood drained from his face. He seemed to notice Severus then and turned to look at him. “Sir?” 

 

      He couldn’t help but sigh before going over to the floo to call Molly. He quickly explained the situation and when she made her way through the fireplace she looked ready to scold her son six ways to Sunday before Snape rested a hand on her shoulder. “It was going to happen sooner or later Molly. It will be better for them to get this out of the way now.” Her face went soft for a moment before settling itself into determination. She and Ronald left then, the boy still looking shocked and confused at the revelation. 

 

      Snape made his way over to Harry’s room, softly rapping on his door. He could easily undo the locking charm if he wanted but he knew that Harry would feel more like an adult and more willing to talk to him if he didn’t.

 

      There was no answer however. 

 

      “Harry can I come in?”

 

      A muffled noise came through the door but the locking charm clicked again and Severus swept his way through. The room was a mess from the boys playing earlier and he almost stepped on a lego but he paid it no mind as he sat down on the edge of the bed. 

 

      Harry was hiding completely under the covers, body in a tight ball wrapped around a pillow. Severus rested a hand on Harry’s foot, patting at it through the duvet and waiting for Harry to come up on his own. 

 

      It took about fifteen minutes of muffled sniffling before Harry breached his bubble. His eyes were red and his nose was dripping. He threw his arms around Snape’s body and buried his face into Snape’s robes. 

 

      This had always acted like a comfort blanket to the boy, as if hiding there took him away and made all his worries disappear. Snape never minded even if it left wet, snotty spots on the cloth, that was why there were things like cleaning charms. Severus rubbed his hands against the boy’s back as his sobs finally calmed and he started to drift to sleep. But before he could completely fall he mumbled two things, one was to ask if he and Ronald would still be friends and the other, which surprised Severus greatly was when Harry said, “You are my family….”

 

      Severus couldn’t help the small smile that graced his face as he tucked Harry back into bed and replied back with, “And you are mine.”

 

      After  a few days of distance and many talks between all parties involved Ronald was back at Hogwarts. It had taken all of ten minutes before they were both hugging each other desperately and then begging to go play outside. 

 

      All was right in the world and they were back to being thick as thieves and their relationship seemed to be all the better for it.

 

* * *

 

      The new school year had only begun three weeks ago and already he had Fred and George Weasley in his private quarters. They had come over a few times already to see Harry, also wanting to get away from everything since it was all so new and big. But now they were here for detention. Most of the teachers (those who were trusted) knew that Severus was close to the Weasleys and therefore apparently Severus was going to be forever in charge of their punishments. Apparently knowing their mom, and being in regular contact, would make his punishments more effective. Or so they said. Snape was convinced however all the other teacher just didn’t know how to deal with them.

 

      So here they were after the twins had somehow stuck all of Flitwick’s feathers to the ceiling on the classroom. Harry was getting ready for bed and Fred and George were sitting at the table studying. Well, Snape would call it studying but it was really an extensive research project on levitation charms and their usages. 

 

      Snape had realized years ago that when dealing with the twins the best thing that could be done would redirect their focus onto something else. They tended towards boredom and the best way to direct their destructive tendencies was to get them to work on a creative project that could be used with their brand of humor. 

 

      They had currently come up with three unique ways use levitation charms in pranks. They were more rattling things off to each other at a fast pace and jotting down what information when they came to some form of conclusion on the matter. 

 

      Sometimes they would look up suddenly and ask about the logistics of what they were currently discussing, then to return to their work. Severus mostly ignored them and worked on his own theories. Suddenly both of the boys were standing over his shoulders, chattering at a hundred miles an hour. Snape held up a hand, stilling their speech, and then put his work away so he could talk to them properly. 

 

      They hopped over the back of the couch and all he could do was scowl as they started to talk. “Sev, do you know-” George started.

 

      “-A potion which acts like a levitation charm?” Fred finished.

 

      Snape ignored there over-excitement and starts telling them about the limitations of levitation potions and how unstable and dangerous they could be. The twins just leaned behind his back to look at each other before looking back at Snape and saying in unison, “Tell us more.”

 

      Their meetings (detentions) continued on and when Snape realized that both he and Sinistra where having problems with the twins grades he ramped them up so that he could make sure their grades improved. Soon they were coming without having to be reminded and had made up eight songs about the stars so they would remember them all. And they were even pretty good, good enough that Sinistra had them perform them to the class. 

 

      Soon Severus was regretting ever taking them on. They soon became the best in potions and astronomy and surprisingly everything other than History of Magic and Transfiguration. 

 

      Molly would often ask after them when dropping Ron off or picking him up and the look on her face was so proud that Severus had even once let it slip that he thought of them as magical prodigies. She had just beamed at that, all her teeth showing and tears starting to stream down her face. Molly then, almost in a run, came to him and crushing him in a hug. And most shockingly of all she kissed his cheek before smiling all the way home. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this taking longer than expected I had health things, and family things, and honestly the last 800 or so words where the biggest pain in the butt ever. Sorry this is also completely unbeta'd but I wanted to post it now.

      Snape looked fondly down on Harry who had passed out on one of the armchairs in the living room. The Weasley’s had just finished going through the Floo, Molly kissing Harry’s forehead and Arthur ruffled his hair before making sure they got all their children to the Burrow. 

 

      Harry hadn’t been able to sleep the night before. Severus had found him sitting at the dining room table once he woke up at six in the morning. There was hot chocolate sitting in front of the boy and Harry had said that he had been too excited to sleep.

 

      And then he was worn out further by a set of over excited twins, Ronald, who had jumped up and down since they were both ten now, and Ginevra who had been hovering off to his side. They had run about the rooms and eaten far too much cake and then gone and watched the sunset in Severus’ private garden. The moment they had come back inside Harry had collapsed into the armchair and passed out. 

 

      Severus had thought momentarily about leaving Harry to sleep in the chair but soon realized that he would have a horrid crick in his neck the next day. And when Harry didn’t sleep well the next day was sure to be miserable. He sighed, knelt down and prodded at the boy until he started mumbling about being too tired to move. Severus turned and pulled the boy onto his back. Harry’s body was limp, his arms flopped down around his shoulders and his head lolling forward.

 

      It only took two steps for his back to start protesting. He had never carried anything above twenty pounds, there was never a need for it and there was always magic. And Harry was easily triple that now, so by the time Snape made it to the boys room, Harry melting off of him and into his bed, his muscles ached. 

 

      It hit him then that Harry was turning into a little man. That he would be soon off to school and then living on his own with a job and maybe a family. Snape felt a pang of jealousy and longing. Harry had become his whole world, his life. And to think he would have to let that go, let the boy go and be relegated to Floo calls and holiday dinners. It hurt. It hurt in a way that Severus couldn’t heal with potions or spells. It was something he would have to learn to live with and just hope that their relationship was strong enough to weather. They weren’t connected by blood, something that couldn’t change, but by love and duty. And those as Snape knew could change. Though he knew on his end they never would. Cemented into his being.

 

      Severus showered, letting his muscles relax under the warm water. Mind solely focused on what his role within Harry’s life would be. How it would change next year let alone by the time the boy was eighteen. 

 

      It was hard but it was something he had to think about. He had no other choice since it would come no matter what.

 

* * *

 

      The first time Severus ever really knew fear, and he had thought he had known it before then, was when Harry was ten. Harry had insisted he was finally old enough to really help Snape when it came to potions making. Normally he would just sit and ask questions while Severus worked on the more advanced stuff but the boy had grown bored with that. 

 

      Wanting to share his love for potions with the boy Severus had accepted. At first he only let Harry fetch ingredients or would guide his hand while stirring or chopping. It all was going well. The way Harry’s eyes lit up when they perfectly pulled off a potion was truly mystifying. To be able to share his love of potions with the person he loved the most and for that person to love it in return. It was… well, it was magical.

 

      However, Severus got too comfortable, allowing Harry to do more and more on his own. And while the boy was smart and could easily handle himself that would never stop accidents from happening. 

 

      He shouldn’t have treated Harry like an adult, like he knew what everything in the lab did and knew which things to be extremely careful around, because he wasn’t and he didn’t. 

 

      Harry didn’t have the natural talent for potions that Snape had, his magic was too unsteady to feel the subtle energy potion ingredients gave off. Snape always knew, by the feeling around a potion or ingredient how dangerous they were. It was what made him a potions master. Being able to throw things together without thinking much, letting his magic do all the work for him. 

 

      So when Harry, eager to help, moved too fast around some of the bottles containing some of the more potent (not always dangerous) ingredients it wasn’t too surprising when he accidently knocked down a bottle of flesh eating spores. The moment they moved from their place on the shelf Severus felt it, the whole room suddenly feeling out of place. Severus knew the moment the bottle hit the ground they would both be dead, and so would anyone who breathed the air the spores were in. 

 

      A simple sticking charm, maybe a cushioning spell, could have prevented this. But Snape never thought something like that would be needed since he knew better. 

 

      Harry didn’t. 

 

      The split second of falling seemed to take forever. Snape trying to draw his wand as fast as possible but feeling like his arm was fighting its way through molasses. 

 

      A blink and it would all be over. 

 

      The fear he felt then, not at his own death but at Harry’s rose within him like flames, knowing that not only would his son die but that it would be his fault. Severus watched as it inched its way closer to the floor, time slowing down around them. 

 

      It would all be over in a second. 

 

      That didn’t happen though. 

 

      To his surprise Harry reached out, grabbing the bottle out of mid-air arm moving so fast it was almost like he was being guided perfectly until he was cradling the bottle, and putting it back on the shelf before making his way merrily over to Snape with the lacewing flies. 

 

      Harry smiled completely unaware of the danger he had just been in. Severus stood there eye’s wide and heart still pounding against his ribcage. Harry holding out the bag of flies with an unyielding smile. 

 

      Severus fell to his knees, pulling the small body into his own, squeezing with all his might and taking in deep breaths of the smell of cinnamon, ozone and potion ingredients. It was so familiar. The soft warm scent that he had come to know as family, that meant safety and happiness. 

 

      There were tears rolling down his cheeks, Harry was struggling in his grasped to get away as Snape crushed the lacewing flies between them. “Dad, you’re crushing them!” It was the most beautiful sound, Harry whining about something as silly as wasted lacewings. 

 

      Snape pulled back, planting a kiss to the boy’s forehead, hair wild under his lips. Harry looked at him, “Is there something wrong?” 

 

      Severus didn’t want to worry him but he couldn’t help the extra hug he pulled the boy in before they checked to see if the lacewing flies were beyond use, which they weren’t. They finished their cauldron of Pepperup Potion, bottling it and then taking them to Pomfrey before heading to dinner. 

 

      They stuffed their faces and once Harry went to sleep Severus snuck into his lab, sitting down at his work table for a while. Simply holding his head in his hand. Thinking over how careless he had been. How he had almost been the death of his son and how the only thing that had saved them both was Harry’s reflexes. 

 

      Severus quickly got to work charming down anything that could be dangerous, as well as casting a cushioning spell on the floor. 

 

      Once he was finished he headed back to their chambers, throwing his top cloak onto the back of the couch and rolling up his sleeves. Snape stood in the doorway of Harry’s bedroom, hip resting against the doorframe as he watched the boy twitch in his sleep. 

 

      Snape remembered when Harry’s room had been filled with baby things, an elf always by his side. Severus suddenly thought of Draco, and how he had ruined his godson’s life. Draco would never know his father. And even though Lucius was a horrible person, Snape knew Lucius would have done almost anything for his son. Lucius would not spare any amount of money to make sure his heir never wanted for anything. He might not be there emotionally but at least he would have been there.

 

      Though this was one of the things Severus regretted the most he would not change it for the world. And while Snape tried his hardest to visit Draco as often as possible, it would never be enough. 

 

      Snape headed to bed, weighed down with guilt at making a child fatherless but he had to remind himself this was better for Harry, his son.

 

* * *

 

      Harry always enjoyed Halloween, unfortunately he never had the real experience most children did. This was Harry’s last Halloween fully as a child, next year he would be a student and this was last chance for him to have this experience. 

 

      Severus set it all up, Molly, Arthur and the two youngest Weasleys coming to join in their fun. All the teachers had been provided with sweets, courtesy of Dumbledore, to hand out when they came to the door. Molly had made the three children costumes, Harry and Ronald were dressed as Merlin and Arthur respectively. Ginevra was wearing Molly’s old school robes, demanding that she be allowed to go to Hogwarts when the boys were. 

 

      Her demands didn’t quite make sense but apparently it was sound enough for a nine year old girl. And her parents humored her to keep her placid as Ginevra out off all their children, threw the fiercest tantrums. Or at least Arthur said so, Molly had just glared at him when he said that. Snape thought it had to do with the fact that Ginevra was her only little girl. 

 

      The kids were anxiously standing around the Floo trying to get all the adult to hurry up. They had wolfed down their dinner and Severus and Molly were still working on their shepherd's pie. 

 

      Arthur expertly directed the kids over to the couch where they started chattering about one thing or another. Severus turned back to Molly, she was staring at him, and he felt in brows come together in confusion. 

 

      “He is growing into a fine young man, you know,” Molly said out of the blue. Snape couldn’t help the brief flash of shock on his face, and clearly Molly had seen it. “You have seemed a little off lately. You look at him how Arthur did before Bill started school. Like he finally realized that childhood doesn’t last.” She sighed and reached out, resting her hand on his. “You don’t need to worry, Harry obviously adores you, and he will always want you in his life.”

 

      Snape couldn’t help it but he quickly looked away from her, looking over to the living room at his son.  _ His son.  _

 

      Severus couldn’t eat anymore if he wanted to, and they were soon ready to go. They Floo’d from office to office, visiting everyone. Soon the kids were moving slower, having ate too many sweets already, bypassing the hyperactive stage completely. Their pumpkins were filled and there was only one last stop before they went home.

 

      They arrived in Dumbledore’s office which was decorated to the max, even the portraits had somehow been convinced into wearing costumes, though most of them were frowning. Dumbledore was dressed as a Muggle, his shoes purple alligator skin boots, clashing horribly with his pea green pinstripe suit. But he was smiling and holding out a giant bowl of sweets and chocolate. 

 

      Ronald rushed forward, suddenly having a burst of energy, pulling Harry by the wrist behind him. Molly had Ginevra sat on her hip, the girl nodding off before jerking back up and trying to stay awake.

 

      Dumbledore chuckled lowering the bowl to within the boys reach. Ronald started stuffing his pumpkin until it was overflowing and sweets was falling to the floor, and then he went on to stuff Harry’s pumpkin.

 

      The Headmaster chuckled at their antics they leaning down to whisper at them conspiratorially, “Do you to want to eat a chocolate frog?”

 

      They both nodded, but Harry looked over at Snape to see if it was okay with him. Severus knew all too well though that any more sweets would probably cause the boy to be sick. He could tell Harry had already overdone it, his skin was paler than normal and he could see sweat starting to form on his brow. “I think you have had enough for today,” Severus told him before looking away to talk with Arthur. 

 

      Arthur was asking about what Severus knew about aeroplanes, which wasn’t much even though he had traveled in them before. But he explained as much as he could. They soon left to go back to Snape’s quarters, the Weasleys leaving short after.

 

      Harry was looking worse than he had before and Snape instantly fell to his knees in front of the boy, putting a hand to his forehead to take his temperature. He was pale and sweaty and his skin was feverish. 

 

      Suddenly, Harry went green, and Severus knew what was coming and had no time to stop it. The smell of bile, sugar, and chocolate assaulted him as vomit covered his torso and Harry struggled through being sick, trying to gasp for air as his stomach convulsed. 

 

      Snape rubbed his back through it until he was done and tears were running down his face. He was still gulping down air and Severus quickly waved his wand and rid them of the mess. As soon as it was gone Harry was into his arms, sobbing away and saying over and over how sorry he was. However, when he told the boy that there was nothing to be sorry for and it was not his fault he was sick, Harry choked out into his ear, “No, you said not to eat anymore and I did!”

 

      Of course this caused him to frown since he didn’t really understand why Harry would have disobeyed him like that so he asked. “You didn’t seem like you wanted anymore, why did you do it?”

 

      There was no need to scold Harry on this, being sick was punishment enough and hopefully he might learn through this some sort of limit. But anything he might have considered the answer before hand was shattered when Harry said, “Dumbledore said it was okay, and Ron said it was okay….” 

 

      Snape frowned but held his son close, shushing and repeating that it was okay and not his fault, and that no, he was not mad. The last one was a lie though. Severus was mad, furious in fact. He knew that Dumbledore had heard him tell Harry that he didn’t need anymore sweets and then the man had contradicted him. 

 

      He could not, would not, let this go. 

 

      Once Harry was down for the night, completely worn out to the point that he had fallen asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, Severus made his way to his fireplace. Checking first to see if Dumbledore was available. 

 

       When Snape stepped through the Floo, his eyebrows scrunched slightly in anger. He might have tried to hide it but he saw no need in this situation. 

 

      “Hello Severus, do you need anything?” Dumbledore was obviously confused by both his appearance and presence. “Will you sit and join me for a cup of tea?”

 

      “No,” Snape wanted to make sure the Headmaster knew that he took this seriously. That this wasn’t something they were just going to forget and act like it never occurred. Severus could not let this go.

 

      Dumbledore frowned in confusion, “What has happened?”

 

      “Harry was sick,” He all but hissed out. The Headmaster started to speak but Snape interrupted him before he could. “He is  _ my  _ son, and I will not have you interfere in how I raise him. And when I say no, that is final.”

 

      The older man assessed him for all of one moment before finding his words. “ _ He _ is James’ son.”

 

      Severus saw red. “He  _ is  _ my son. I am the one he lives with. I am the one who tucks him in at night. I am the one who cares for him when he is sick. And I am the one who loves him most.” He had never be able to forget this now, it was too big of an insult. 

 

      “I understand, Severus,” There were many things Snape could dissect in that one sentence alone. Dumbledore wasn’t talking knowing he was wrong, or saying he wouldn’t do it again. He was saying he understood that Severus no longer served only him, that he had taken a misstep, even if he didn’t understand why or how it had happened. He had been a fool not to realize this sooner.

 

      But now they knew where the other stood, and there was nothing else to say or do. So Severus left, checking in on Harry again before heading to his own room for the night.

 

* * *

 

      It had almost been two years since Severus had first told Harry about his family, and suddenly, starting a few weeks ago, the boy was yearning to meet them. Wanted to know everything about them. Snape thought it might have something to do with the fact that after this summer Harry would start at Hogwarts himself and soon would be too busy to really make a connection with the Dursleys. 

 

      Snape had been racking his brain for days, trying to figure out how to make this meeting happen. It wasn’t that Severus wanted the meeting but it was something Harry wanted, and he didn’t think the boy would be in any danger, and Severus wanted to make sure Harry always got what he wanted within reason. Showing up at the Dursley’s house, announced or unannounced, was completely out of the question. Neutral ground was what they needed but that meant that Snape would have to find some way to figure out where they would be and when. Severus highly doubted Petunia would agree on a meeting.

 

      He knew the only thing that could be done. So he left Harry with McGonagall before making his way off of the grounds and then apparating to the closest apparition point. He arrived just inside the edge of a large forest, the sun had not fully risen and the morning dew was still on the grass. Severus made his way farther into the forest, making sharp turns until he was absolutely sure he wasn’t being followed, not that it had been a real worry to begin with. 

 

      It might seem a little paranoid but this was a secret that he had to keep at all costs. He did another quick look around, before he concentrated on the feeling of forcing his body to shift, letting feathers force their way through his skin, and allowing his organs to reposition themselves. His eye’s moving making his vision go momentarily blurry, his nose elongating and hardening. This was only the third time he had ever done it and it was hard to relax enough to let it happen. 

 

      The shift came, and he found himself closer to the ground with his talons digging into the dirt. He took a few uneasy steps, getting used to the change in his center of gravity. Snape took a few more wobbling steps before spreading his wings a few times to get used to the weight of them. He spread his feathers a few times, taking a few hopping jumps before figuring out how to properly take off. 

 

      The reason Severus was not used to his animagus form was because after his second time using it he decided that he would only ever shift in the most serious of times. No one knew about this, not Voldemort or Dumbledore. He had realized the seriousness of what he had done, as he had become an animagus in his sixth year at Hogwarts after finding out what Potter and Black had been up to, and the advantage that it was. His form was small, inconspicuous (invisible during the nights) and could fly. It had dawned on him then that this was his ultimate defense. That this was a secret no one would know and could be used to save his life in a time of need. 

 

      To think now that he was willingly using it to spy on a couple of Muggles almost made him rawk. It was strange to hear any noise come out of this form. And while he could still talk, one of the other huge upsides to his animagus form, it always came out like it was playing on a bad gramophone. And sometimes as he tried to talk too fast it came out as muttering, completely incomprehensible. 

 

      Severus soared out of the forest, figuring out how the angle of his wings affected his flight. How to turn left and right, how to rise and fall, how to keep steady. Descending onto the picket fence of number four Privet Drive was the hardest thing he had done yet, talons digging into the wood as he tried to catch himself. 

 

      He walked forward, making his way over to the open window in the kitchen, the smell of bacon wafting through. Snape made the last little jump, landing on the windowsill. The woman inside was hurrying around the kitchen to put food on the table where her husband and son sat. 

 

      Petunia had aged, wrinkles marring her face, and Severus wondered if Lily would look anything like her. Severus shook his head, wanting to remember Lily as she had been. The man sitting at the table was fat with no neck and his face was red as a tomato. The lump of a boy sitting at the table, shoving bacon down his gullet looked exactly like his father. 

 

      Severus watched in fascination, when he was younger he had always wanted to be a part of a real family, him, Lily and their children. Now though, Snape wouldn’t trade Harry for anything. He knew it was selfish, he didn’t care. Would never be able to bring himself to care. 

 

      The boy interrupted his thoughts, screaming at his mother for more bacon, the older man laughed and ruffled the boy’s wispy hair. Petunia smiling from ear to ear as if there was nothing she wanted more, rushing about in a whirl to fix her son more food. 

 

      Severus wanted to sneer but didn’t know if this form could pull off anything close, plus he also didn’t want to be shooed away, so he stood still on the window. Watching. Observing 

 

      He kept up his post, every once and awhile shifting his weight, and fluttering his wings to keep from going stiff. There wasn’t much of interest the family said, mostly just babble about work and school until finally Petunia said something of interest.

 

      “Dudley dearest, Mummy wants to make sure that you still want to go to the zoo with Piers?” Petunia’s voice was sickly sweet and still carried the tone that a mother might used with a newborn.

 

      Dudley just nodded, cheeks stuffed with food, looking incredibly like the chipmunks Snape had seen in his time in America. 

 

      Vernon, Snape had overheard his name, piped in, guffawing, “Little tyke knows what he wants!” While rubbing at his son’s head. “I already got next Wednesday off.”

 

      “And Mary took Charles there a few months ago, she said the ZLS has a new set of lion cubs. Do you think we should head out at nine or ten?” Petunia was now up and starting to clean the table, Veron took the last sip of coffee before he finally said that ten should be good.

 

      Severus left then, not caring to hear the rest of the conversation. He had been to the ZLS once when he was a child on a primary school trip. His mother had scrimped and saved until she had the fee for the trip, he was pretty sure she had gone and collected coins from the ground. It wasn’t much money but Severus father had been the type of man to control his wife and family so strictly that he watched where every pence went. When Snape had been eight he had nicked a sixpence out of his dad’s coin dish so that he could buy a bag of crisps. 

 

      The bag of crisps, which had been his first ever, had also been his last. It had been tainted by what had happened later that night when he arrived home from school. His mother had been dutifully cooking dinner, limp dark hair curtaining her face. She did not look up at him like she normally did and her fingers, that were clutching a knife, were shaking. 

 

      It was until a glass bottle slammed down against wood though that he understood. 

 

      His father was sitting in his leather back chair, soot covered and already drunk by the look of his eyes, which weren’t really focused. But the moment his eyes locked with Severus’ they went sharp. 

 

      “Come here boy,” He growled out in a too familiar way. He had gone willingly, knowing from experience it was best to just go along and to not show fear. His father gripped him by his hair, so hard he felt strands as they were ripped from his scalp. Severus cried out, and then everything was a blur, the next thing he knew he woke for school the next day, body covered in bruises. 

 

      Unfortunately, when Severus had been a kid no one questioned things like domestic and child abuse. It was just part of the culture and no one dared question a man on it. 

 

      Snape finally made it back to the woods, making a few lazy circles above the treetops, before landing and changing back into his own body. It took a few steps to completely right his balance. 

 

      He then apparated back to Hogsmeade to pick up a treat for Harry. Seeing how the Dursley’s choose to raise their son had made him realize that he hadn’t done bad with his own. It was a great feeling, to know that so far he hadn’t completely screwed this up. Snape quickly ducked into Florean Fortescue's new little shop and got them both mint chocolate chip and a raisin rum before heading up to the castle. 

 

      It was hot this late in June and he was sure Harry would be outside flying about with Madam Hooch on the pitch. They were both flying about the pitch, going after what was most likely the snitch even though he could not see it.

 

      Rolanda had been sneaking Harry onto school brooms since the start of summer. Snape knew she had been doing that but had chosen to ignore it. Snape trusted her to take care of his son. She knew how far Harry could go, allowing him to learn and enjoy but making sure he didn’t go too far. 

 

      Snape saw Rolanda slow down just a little as Harry reached out and grasped the snitch. It was still surprising that he had kept up that far, Hooch had been a world class seeker in her day and it showed how much she cared for Harry to let him win knowing just how competitive she was. Once when Severus had been a student someone had challenged her to a race, and she hadn’t held back at all even though the student’s father had been one of the school governors. 

 

      There had been a huge incident over that. 

 

      They both landed and headed towards him, thanking him for their ice cream and digging in. It wasn’t until Harry had finished, a smudge of cream above his lip, and was back on his broom making loops around the pitch that Hooch told him, a little awe in her tone, “He beat me, I didn’t even slow down and he beat me.”

 

      Snape’s head cracked with how quickly he turned towards her. He couldn’t help his own shock. To realize just how talented his son was when it came to flying. This was the first time he had taken his eyes off of Harry when flying without someone else looking too so he quickly turned back. 

 

      Harry was taking a dive, height restriction upped with every year, until now there was only a softening charm left on the ground that would only insure he lived if he were to fall. He was heading straight down for the pitch until at the last moment when he pulled up, feet skimming the ground as he rode straight for them. His head was thrown back and the laughter bubbling from him was intoxicating. 

 

      Severus smiled as he listened to Harry and Hooch ranted rapid-fire about Quidditch strategies. 

 

* * *

 

      Harry had already been awake for an hour by the time Severus got up. Snape found the boy in his room with all his clothes spread on the bed. He was standing in his boxers with a shirt hanging around his neck. Once he noticed that the door had been opened he quickly spun around and started speaking, “Should I dress up? Or is casual okay?” 

 

      Severus sat down and sighed, ready to listen to Harry’s indecision for the next hour. Harry tended to do this, he would freight over things that he need not but at the same time he didn’t want anyone to interrupt this, he always wanted to come to his own decision. So Snape let him, gave him the time he needed and a person to listen to his every query. 

 

      Harry finally decided on jeans and a smart top. They ate breakfast (though Harry was only picking at it) and put on trainers, jackets, and a glamor before Flooing to the Leaky Cauldron.  They made their way out onto the London streets, the early birds in the pub ignoring them in favor of coffee and tea. They grabbed a taxi, Harry in awe of it all since this was the first time he had seen the Muggle world even if he had seen it all in books. He constantly asked questions about how everything worked, and it was obvious to Snape that he was doing this more to cover his nerves than out of curiosity. The taxi driver kept looking at them oddly through the rear-view mirror. 

 

      They chose to ignore the cabby and continued to talk about all the strange facets of the Muggle world. 

 

      When they finally got out of the cab and walked up to the entrance of the zoo. There are a few dozen people milling around outside of the entrance and Harry’s head swizzles around in fascination. And they are a few hours earlier than the Dursley so they have some time to look around before they have to worry. So if the meeting does go poorly Harry will at least have had the chance to look at some of the animals. 

 

      The boy is fascinated by everyone and everything. The London zoo is relatively small, since almost all animals normally found in zoos from countries such as America since the weather is so inhospitable. And while Servus knows that the animals here could never be treated as well as they would in the wild he would never tell Harry that.

 

      If it had been up to him he would have waited until Scamander’s Muggle Animal Conservation and Education Show was back in England. While the old man was a little off he cared about his animals and beasts more than any Muggle zoo could ever do or try to do. And he had heard, from Hagrid, that the experience had been so awe-inspiring for him that it was the reason he cared for beast so much. 

 

      But this wasn’t about Harry seeing animals, not wholly, this was about Harry seeing his relatives. So Severus did his best not to ruin it for the boy as they walked through the park. Harry babbling away about all the animals and what he had read about them. 

 

      Severus mused about taking Harry and maybe Ronald when they were a little older to see Scamander’s animals. They would surely like it more than this. 

 

      They continued to walk around and feed what animals they could until the sun was high in the sky and blazing down on them. Because of this they took refuge in the cool, dark, reptile house. 

 

      This so far more than anything excited Harry. As he hurriedly whispered to each and every snake having short conversations to each one. There was a particularly chatty Boa and by the end of their conversation Harry was frowning and looking a little teary eyed. Severus knew that it was time to go now before Harry accidentally set all the animals loose. Snape knelt next to his son and pulled on his chin until they were looking into each other’s eyes. 

 

      “I know that it isn’t fair that they are kept in small cages for people to gawk at. But there is nothing we can do about it.” Snape knew if he did not make this clear Harry would go into a fit about Severus helping him free and return all the animals to where they belong.

 

      Harry frowned, brows pulled together in frustration and eyes still shiny at the injustice. “But we can let them out, I know we can.”

 

      “Harry, just because we can doesn’t mean we should.” He made sure to only speak once there was no one to close to where they were crouched. He looked shocked that Severus was going to let this continue. And like he would do it himself if that was what it took. Snape had to act quickly, “Listen Harry, the animals in zoos are normally born in captivity, if we were to release them into the wild they would not survive. They haven’t learned the skills they would need to get by.”

 

      “But then we can just keep them, Hagrid will help take care of them,” Harry said stubbornly. 

 

      Snape sighed, he had known this was a bad idea. Harry’s heart was just too big to let injustices like this go on challenged. “I am sorry but now. Where do you think they will live? At Hogwarts? Do you think Lions and Tigers are meant for the cold and rainy weather of Scotland? And I know you know how much space these animals need to be happy, do you think Hogwarts has that much room? And what will they eat? What if they hurt a student?”

 

      Harry looked about ready to cry at this. He turned his face back to the Boa and whispered something that sounded absolutely heartbroken before turning back and declaring, “I want to leave now.”

 

      Severus nodded and moved them over to corner before whispering a quick Point Me. 

 

      They found the Dursley’s in no time, leaving the restaurant beside the bird exhibits. They had another small boy with them and their own son was begging his father for something or other.

 

      This was the moment of truth.

 

      Harry waved at Petunia, who look so confused for all of two seconds before it hit her. It must have been the eyes. Her eyes lingered before snapping up to Snape. Her eyes were wide and her face had lost all of its color. A frown started to form the longer she stared at Severus, but when Dudley came up to her side undoubtedly to ask for something, she seemed to snap out of her trance. 

 

      She looked at her son in fear, quickly rushing to get out of the zoo. Petunia started to push everyone towards the exit, son still complaining about not getting something, his friend looking utterly confused, and her husband trying to get her attention. She only looked back once, terror still etched into her face, one tear sliding down her pale cheek. And then she never looked back again. 

  
      Severus looked down at Harry who was clutching at Snape hand like a vice, he had tears running down his face. This signified the end of childhood, and they both knew it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you liked it! I am not sure if I am going to finish the other stories in this series. I have bipolar disorder and am prone to lose interest in things pretty fast. I am pretty lucky to have finished this story and it took me almost a whole year of on and off writing to finish. So I don't think I will at least be posting anything more of this series for a long time since I rather not start it and then not be able to finish it. Or honestly ever going farther with this series as it might be best to just leave it here as a super indulgent Severus raising Harry fic. Tell me what you think in the comments.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos or comments it really helps motivate me to write faster. 
> 
> And if you have read anything by me before you will know i am horrible about finishing what I start luckily even if I don't write the next story in this series this piece works all by itself. I really do hope to finish this whole series though so even if it takes time this is the only thing I am working on until it is finished.


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